


Baek The Cookie Monster

by JennyUdinov



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, BaekYeol - Freeform, Baekhyun Is Bisexual, Baekhyun Was A Doctor, Blow Jobs, ChanBaek - Freeform, Chanyeol Is Straight, Chanyeol is a Teacher, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Help, How Do I Tag, Humor, It Turned Into Porn, Love, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Porn With Plot, Pure Porn, Romance, Smut, bitting kink, charity - Freeform, idk anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-11-28 04:49:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11410554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyUdinov/pseuds/JennyUdinov
Summary: Baekhyun is bisexual and insanely in love with cookies, he accidentally wiggles his ass into Chanyeol's face who is totally straight and then Baek offers Chanyeol a cookie to make the situation less awkward...





	1. The Perfect Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> The summary sounds stupidly funny, but this is not all bullshit I promise xD

Baekhyun was soaked to the bone, it was one of the most rainy days in the week, but he had to run to the little store, that was two blocks away from his apartment. So he can get himself some cookies, becuase _of course_ that he will eat one whole package and want more.

Cookies were life for Baekhyun after he quit his job, they were the only thing that made him feel better in his little moments of selfpity.

It was really unfortunate, that his cookies ran out exactly then, but poor Baekhyun couldn't wait until the rain stopped. That's how he ended up all wet in the elevator, chewing on one cookie, while listening to the song Oreo by R. Kelly. He was dancing kind of seductively, becuase of the lyrics, while halfly mumbling them.

It took awhile for Baekhyun to turn around, still wiggling his ass, when he saw a man staning in the elevator next to him. He was trying to bite his smile with bright while teeth, because seeing Baekhyun shake his ass in the air, all wet was kind of funny, at least to the man it was.

Baekhyun choked on his cookie, swollowing thickly, he eyed him for little more than a moment. The man was taller than Baekhyun, well dressed with a wool sweater, elegant pants and a coat. Seemed quite expencive by the looks of it, Baekhyun blushed, feeling awkward and emberrased because of the whole situation. Plus he was caught looking over the man from head to toe, because the taller one was still staring at Baekhyun.

"Cookie?" Baekhyun offered smiling wide, trying to ease the tension, because he knew exactly how his ass looked in those jeans without being wet and shaking it into someone's face was an event to be seen.

The man took one cookie out of the package, with a nod while smiling back, not hiding it now. It was a warm smile from the heart, Baekhyun could see that it wasn't faked.

"Thanks, what song were you listening to, I couldn't really catch the lyrics" The man said, while chewing half of the cookie, smirking. Baekhyun mentally facepalmed himself, because on top of everything, he was singing the lyrics as well.

He could've lied, but the man already had heard something and would know if Baekhyun was lying, so he emberrased himself once more by addmitting the song.

"Oreo by R. Kelly..." Baekhyun was looking away now, hoping his floor would come sooner. The ride in the elevator was never this long, after all Baekhyun lived only on the 4th.

"Oh" The man only exclaimed and nothing more, he was kind of surprised by the look on his face and _Yes_ Baekhyun was starting to feel awkward again, he knew that it was a dirty song, a very dirty one, but he loved cookies and never saw that song in the way it was meant to be, but noone would understand that anyway.

"You like cookies, I see" The man smiled sweetly, while finishing the cookies. It wasn't a question, just an observation. The elevator finally stopped on the 4th floor.

"I'm here" Baekhyun said rushing out the door, carefully not to push or even brush the man. Now trying to escape from him, who was seemly enjoying himself in making Baekhyun feel awkward, or was it his imagination again, as usual.

"Me too" The man replied and walked after Baekhyun. He wanted to sigh, because it was like a horror movie, that he can't run away from the murderer, but he suppressed it. Baekhyun walked down the halway speeding his pace a bit, his apartment was number 14. Baekhyun was trying to unlock the door with shaky hands, when he felt a light hand, patting him on the shoulder.

"Thanks for the cookie, see you around" The man walked passed him and into the next apartment, Baekhyun finally managed to get the lock working and rushed inside, slamming the door behind him, heavily breathing.

"Okay, breathe he is a normal person. He is not a killer Baekhyun, you watch too many movies" It took few more deep breaths for him to feel safe again, when he was calm Baekhyun walked over to the kitchen, leaving the cookies on the counter and then moving to the bathroom for a nice warm shower.

' _W_ _as he the new neighbour_ ' Baekhyun thought.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next few days were still rainy, Baekhyun was glad that he didn't work anywhere outside, not that his job inside was going well anyway. Actually it was a disaster and he would soon be fired.

After he moved to live in this apartment, Baekhyun wanted to find himself a job, that didn't requier comunication with actual people, he wasn't ready to go outside yet. He tried painting, but he wasn't talanted enough for that, he tried writing books, that didn't end well too.

Right now he was writing acticlues for a magazines, but he was struggling, nothing was working okay in the last year and a half.

Baekhyun got used to living in his own bubble and didn't want to get out, it was safer inside, where he knew everything was going to be fine.

He sighed dissapointed at himself and what he has become, but he couldn't really help it, it just happened.

Baekhyun looked out the window, with a cup of hot chocolate in one hand and a cookie in the other. Taking a sip and a bite, making his anxiety go away.

The rain was pouring, there were thunders and lightnings, usual for the town he lived in. It somehow reminded him of Londod, rarely sunny with lots of rain.

There was a dog, running around alone outside, all of his fur was wet. Baekhyun had seen it around a couple of times, he even left food for it once, then ran away because he was scared not to be attacked.

Everytime it rained the dog went out and 'showered' in the rain, it looked it he was having fun. Baekhyun wanted to go outside and take it in ,because the poor creature didn't deserve to be outside in the cold, without an owner.

It was a big golden-ish dog, it looked like a wild one and kind of scary, but Baekhyun couldn't take him in anyway, he couldn't even take care of himself, let alone a dog with him.

He sighed again at how useless he really was and went back to the laptop to continue his ' _Soon to be fired/Last article_ '

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Two day later Baekhyun was fired, as expected.

He had to live on his savings again, until he could find another place to work at.

It was a sunny day, not like the previous ones, Baekhyun decided to go to the groceries store. He needed some things to actually cook himself a propper meal, that he hadn't had in over a week now. Not that he could cook, but he was trying not to starve.

While Baekhyun was walking down the street playing with his keys between his fingers, he always did that while walking to somewhere, it gave him the feeling of looking cool, but he knew that noone actually paid attention to him anyway, but it made him feel better nonetheless.

There was a school few blocks down from his apartment and right around the corner, next to the school was the supermarket.

Baekhyun looked at the other side of the street, while still walking and saw one child, ripped clothes, shoes, dirty. He had seen it around the neighbourhood and his parents too, they made the child ask people for money, people that passed by and those who were at the parking lot at the supermarket.

Baekhyun wanted to help the child but he knew that none of the money, that people gave him really made his life better. His parents take it from him to buy themselves drugs, cigarettes, alcohol and God knows what else.

Baekhyun's heart always broke when he saw people suffering in anyway, but he couldn't really help that boy. What could he possibly do to make eveything better for him? Baekhyun sighed shaking his head, trying to get over the feeling of uselessness, remembering what his old friend, Jongdae had said.

_"_ _Don't pity people whom you can't help, pity doesn't help them, neither does it help you"_

While Baekhyun was trying to get over himself, he saw the boy running to cross the street without looking around for a car and there _was_  a car, big massive jeep, driving right towards the little boy, Baekhyun's breathe hitch. 

"Watch..." He yelled, but before he knew it, the boy was already on the other side of the street and the car had slowed down, eveything was okay. Baekhyun scoffed and shook his head looking down.

"You're not responsible for everyone, Baekhyun" He said to himself, taking few deep breaths and kept walking.

Every since he was a teenager, he always felt like he had to help people. Deep down inside he knew that it was his calling, the meaning of his life and that's why the became a doctor and he was happy from what he was doing for other. Saving their lives and seeing their loved ones with hope in their eyes, tears of joy and happiness, when they heard that eveything was okay with their parent or child or just someone they cared about, but then eveything happened and that joy was taken away from Baekhyun, in the most brutal way someone could ever imagined.

Baekhyun didn't want to go back to those memories, not right now in the middle of the day, with people around him. Seeing him have a breakdown wasn't really a good thing, so he decided to look for the boy and have his mind taken away from overheating.

When he was passing by the school, there in the yard was that kid, happily smiling at someone. Baekhyun looked at the person and to his surprise it was the stranger from the elevator, that he saw few days ago. He was giving groceries to the boy. _'Why haven't I thought of that'_   Baekhyun cursed himself for not thinking of that. Of course if the kid went back home with food, they wouldn't beat him up, it was something useful to some extent.

Without realizing Baekhyun had stopped walking and started staring at the tall man, who was waving at the other children, while coming towards him. For a second their eyes met, but before one of them could really notice it, Baekhyun was already back on his way towards the market.

 

 

When Baekhyun was in the store, he first looked at the vegetables. Taking some tomatoes, cucumber, red peppers. That was enough for a healthy salad. Potatoes were the only thing he needed, Baekhyun was going to fry them. ' _So much for healthy living_ ' he thought and smirked at himself.

Baekhyun went to the meat section and got some to fry it too.

Baekhyun was without a job and he had to save, but he was feeling like eating tonight.

He went to take instant ramyons for the next few days and of course he was never leaving the store without stopping at the cookies section.

He stood there wondering which one should he get this time. Baekhyun had tried all of them and maybe twice of each, he wanted to try something new, he was growing kind of tired from the same old, Chocolate with Chocolate bipped in Chocolate.

He was standing there in front of the big section, kind of lost what to choose, when someone came behind him and whimpered.

"Hey Cookie Monster" Deep husky, kind of scary voice, making Baekhyun jump. Turning to see the tall Teacher? Neighbour.

Baekhyun put his hand on his chest, trying to catch his breath and calm himself down.

"Ah sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" The man said, the playful spark from a moment ago was gone and replaced with worry.

"Are you okay?" He placed a hand on Baekhyun's shoulder, he tried to even his breath and nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just didn't expect it" Baekhyun said quietly, the man smiled at him, now feeling at ease after he made sure Baekhyun was okay.

"What are you buying?" He asked his voice still husky, but cheerful. He was turned towards the hunder of cookies with his hands clenched behind his back.

Baekhyun studied him for a moment, because he couldn't do that the last time he saw him. The man looked like royalty, tall, broad shoulders, elegant structure. The way he was simply standing gave Baekhyun the feeling of an hair of a royal family, a king to be. He was nicely dressed, just like the other day, with combed hair to a side, giving even more power to his royal vibe.

The man looked to a side, over his shoulder and Baekhyun realized that he didn't reply for a long time, he cleared his throat.

"W-well..." His voice sound low and kind of weak "I can't really decide" Baekhyun said taking a few steps forwward, now standing next to him, feeling small and weak because of the difference in their height.

"Which ones do you usual take?" The man asked.

Baekhyun reached out to take one package.

"Those" The taller took it out of his long fingers carelessly, Baekhyun wasn't used to being close to people, actually he had been avoiding them and this was kind of overwhelming for him.

"Chocolate with chocolate dipped in chocolate?" The man asked with a smirk, raising his eyebrows. Baekhyun felt awkward again, looking down at his feet, like he had done something bad.

"I..I like chocolate" He said with a sigh, the man giggled.

"I'm more of a vanilla guy, but it never hurts to try something new" He put the package in his shopping basket.

"What about you?" He asked, looking at Baekhyun with a smile.

Baekhyun could easily wave him off and not reply, but the guy seemed talkative and kind of harmless and really cheerful, compared to Baekhyun's grey everyday life. And like he said, it wouldn't hurt to change something, so Baekhyun decided to be open and honest towards the stranger.

"Well I don't know, I wanted to try something new, but I have already tried everything here" He motioned to all of teh section. The taller one hummed, as he scratched his chin.

"What do you say about this" He reached for a package of Oreos, the guy smiled as he gave it to Baekhyun. He thought that the man was smiling at something he was remembering and Baekhyun secretly hoped, it wasn't him dancing and singing wet in the elevator to that song.

"These are my favorite" He said "But if you don't like vanilla, why don't we do this" He said walking off, Baekhyun followed. The man took out one Chocolate ice cream from the fridge.

"Eat it at the same time, it will be _with_ chocolate, _something new_ and _with_ cookies" That cheerful smile not leaving his face, white teeth shining, eyes sparkling with happiness.

What was he happy about Baekhyun wondered, what was so good about his life, that he was so happy and cheerful? Family? Wife? Children?

Baekhyun sighed becuase he realized, that he was still in depression, he tried to smile back at the man.

"Thank you" He took the Ice cream "I will try it" He put it in his basket and walked away, it might've seemed rude, not saying goodbye but Baekhyun haven't had so much interaction with people since months. He was just feeling uncomfortable now.

Baekhyun knew that they were in the same building, even on the same floor, so he hurried to walk faster and get home first. The guy was walking behind him with a steady pace. Baekhyun didn't want the cheerful one to offer him to walk together, so he kept hurring but the taller just didn't seem to fall behind

"Damn, he has long legs" Baekhyun exhaled, but he was grateful to the man, that maybe he had noticed that Baekhyun was feeling uncomfortable. Which made Baekhyun upset that maybe the guy would think he is some asshole and egocentric.

Baekhyun kept overthingking, he shook his head.

"Stop it" He whispered to himself, as he walked into the building and instead of using the elevator and waiting for it, Baekhyun jumped on the stairs and took them by 2. As soon as he was on the 4th floor, Baekhyun was out of breath, but kept hurrying to get into his apartment and he did without any incidents and without seeing the tall neighbour again.

~~~~~~~~~~

On the next morning Baekhyun did his morning routine, showering, brushing teeth, drinking coffee while looking out the window.

He saw that old man, who lived in the building across the street. He was maybe over 80 by the looks of it, slowly walking seemingly in pain. He always went out around 9 AM to get some groceries.

And again just like with the child, Baekhyun wanted to help this man. Carry his bags atleast, if not something else just simply halping him, but Baekhyun was too afraid to do anything.

He was scated of eveything, he didn't know of eveything different, so he watched that man almost evey morning and send him a prayer.

Just like that Baekhyun moved to his kitchen counter and took out the cookies, he frowned at them because they were Oreos but remembered buying them with the tall cheerful man and then the ice cream that was in his fridge.

Baekhyun took it out and with a spoon he started eating from the box, bite of a cookie and a full spoon of ice cream. He moaned at the explicit taste, he loved it. He felt the vanilla first and then the chocolate melting on top of it, making him fall in ecstasy.

"Who are you Mr. Tall Cheerful Neighbour" Baekhyun mumbled, wondering as he licked off the spoon.

 

When he was finished with breakfast, Baekhyun moved to the window again, to finish his coffee and be saw the old man coming back, walking even more slowly now. The things he was carring were too heavy for him. Baekhyun sighed, leaving his coffee on the table.

"Damn it" He looked away his heart in pain _'It won't hurt to try something new'_ those words echoed in his mind and before he knew it, Baekhyun was already out of his apartment determined to help the old man.

 

When he was about to got out the front door, Baekhyun saw the tall neighbour already lifting the heavy bags, offering the old man his help.

Baekhyun smiled from behind the glass door, he was grateful that there were still good, full heartedly people in the cruel world that he lived in. With a smile Baekhyun went back to the apartment, looking from his window down to the both figures, slowly coming closer.

The old man was smiling for the first time since Baekhyun had seen him and his flawless neighbour was as cheerful and smily as always, making Baekhyun keep his smile on his face this time.

"Next time I will help him" He smiled wider and felt warmness in his chest, that he haven't felt in a very long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day passed fast for Baekhyun, he spent it looking online for a job, but nothing really matched his requirements, he wasn't still ready to go out, not yet.

_Yes_ , maybe he wanted to help the old man and talk to a neighbour, but working with people all day long, was a whole different thing, he needed more time.

Baekhyun sighed desperately and closed his laptop harshly, leaning his head in his hands over the table, massaging his forehead.

A loud thunder went through the silence, making Baekhyun shiver.

It was going to rain again and was going to pour, just like few days ago.

That was one of Baekhyun's most favor times, becuase it meant it was hot chocolate time with cookies at the window. Apparently the most visited and favorite place in the whole apartment, more than his own bed even.

With a slight smile of joy, Baekhyun went to make himself the hot chocolate and take the package of cookies.

When he moved to the window, Baekhyun leaned on the frame and sipped a bit of his cup, while watching how the rain started falling and in few minutes it was already pouring.

Baekhyun was chewing on his cookie, _Oreo_ which was very tasty mix with the taste of hot chocolate, he might've actually like them after all.

He finished the last sip while it was still warm, that's when he saw that wild dog, wet to the bone once again, as usual running around in the rain. Baekhyun sighed looking at it.

"I'm sorry my friend" He said tracing with his finger on the window over the dog "I can't save you little one" And just like that he saw his neighbour walking in the rain with an unbrella. He appeared out of nowhere like every time he did, patting the dog on the head, croching infront of it.

The dog waved his tail and him and started playing around, the man said something to it and without a fight the dog let him put a leash on and then brough the dog inside their building.

Baekhyun was amazed by what he had just saw, the dog was kind of crazy, wild and scary, but his neighbour had just taimed him like it was nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Without realizing Baekhyun had falled asleep on the couch lastnight, he was woken up by a starnge noise coming from the front door.

The sun was just beggining to shine with it's first rays, Baekhyun stretched and yawned, scratching his nape and ruffling his hair, trying to wake up. He heard that noise again and a rough voice.

"Don't... Just come with me.." Baekhyun was now sort of scared, because the noise sounded like scratching, like in one of those horror movies.

Baekhyun slowly walked towards the door and listened more carefully, there was another scratch.

"I said stop doing that...Let's go" There was a whisper, Baekhyun took a breath and harshly opened the door, as if he could scare away whatever scared him more, but instead the fear went away and replaced by surprise at the second he saw the man standing infront of his door. 

It was The Perfect Starnger, his kinda creepy neighbour and fullheartedly teacher, standing there awkwardly and shy smiling at him with an apologelistic look.

"Hey Cookie Monster.."


	2. A Little Bit Of Both

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out longer than it was supposed to :D I hope you enjoy it! <3

"Uhm...Hey" Baekhyun was still in shock to see his neighbour. He was staring at him, when Baekhyun felt something fluffy against his leg, when he looked down Baekhyun saw the dog, looking right up into his eyes.

"Hey buddy" Baekhyun smiled at him, but didn't pet him, he was still afraid, he didn't know how dengerious it could be, after all it was a homeless dog. Baekhyun looked at the tall man, who was akwardly shifting from one leg to another infront of him.

"He just...Kept scratching at your door and didn't want to move, I'm sorry if I woke you up" The man seemed upset after he had realized that Baekhyun was awake because him. He didn't want his neighbour to feel upset for no reason, so Baekhyun smiled widely at him, showing his white teeth, something he never does, at least not lately.

"Oh it's not a problem, I was just about to head out after I make some coffee" Baekhyun said waving back at his kitchen. He yawned once again, covering his mouth with his other hand. The man smiled back him and nodded, he was at ease now. Baekhyun could see that by how realxed his shoulders were.

"Alright, I guess see you around" He kept smiling, waving his hand at Baekhyun and pulling the leash, but the dog didn't move. It actually did the opposite, pulling itself towards Baekhyun.

Now fully inside the apartment, the dog rubbed itself in Baekhyun's legs, it looked like a cat and both his neighbour and Baekhyun were amazed by it's actions.

"Oh come on! Stop bothering him and let's go..." The man pulled a little, trying not to hurt thedog. He sounded desperate and kind of annoyed, but the dog didn't seem to want to move away from Baekhyun and continued pretending to be a cat around his legs.

"It's okay" Baekhyun quietly said "I guess he likes me" He squatted down now, getting over his fear and patting the dog on his head.

"Do you like me buddy?" Baekhyun asked with a sweet voice, the dog licked his hand and barked playfulling, waving his tail at him, Baekhyun chuckled at the response he got.

"I fed him once, well I left the food on the ground and ran away" Baekhyun laughed at the memory of it and howstupid he might've looked from the side.

"But I guess he remembers and that's why he is being like this right now" The man chuckled while saying.

"What do you say, that we go for a walk together?" He asked smiling.

"Because I don't really think he will move" The taller one scratched his nape nervously, because he was feeling awkward now, because there was no answer at first and Baekhyun noticed that.

"If you're not busy I mean..." The man kept making the atmosphere more and more awkward, Baekhyun smiled back at him because it was time to get out of his shell and back into the world, little by little. It wasn't going to hurt him, going on a walk with his neighbour and his dog would it?

"No no, It's Sunday, I don't have anything important. Let me just make the coffee and get dressed. If you want you can come in?" Baekhyun moved away from the door, waving his hand at the apartment, the dog instantly wanted to get in, but the man pulled him back to stay at his place, in front of the door.

"No, thank you, we will wait here" He looked at the dog like he was doing exactly what he had told him NOT to do.

"Sit down." The man said more harsly now and the dog did what he saidm listening without doing anything. Baekhyun only nodded and closed the door, quickly making the coffee and redressing at the same time.

 

When he opened the door again, the man was still standing there, now smiling brightly, the dog rushed to step closer to Baekhyun and around his legs, like that was his most favorite place. Baekhyun smiled at the dog, that suddenly seemed harmless. He was holding two cup of coffee, Baekhyun handed one to his neighbour.

"I didn't know what you like, so I just made it middle sweeet and with more milk than the coffee, coz you like vanilla?" Baekhyun hasitated at the end of the sentence, but thought it won't hurt if he showed, that he actually cared enough to remember something about his neighbour and that he wanted to become friends.

Baekhyun wanted slowly to start fixing his life, year and a half was enough to dwell over the past. He wanted little by little to settle things, starting from making a friend.

"Yes, it's good like that" The man said, taking the cup with the biggest smile Baekhyun had seen on his face so far. He could almost see the sun flashing back at him from their whiteness.

"Thank you, you didn't have to" He continued, Baekhyun just smiled in reply, wanting to show just as shiny smile as him.

"Shall we go...Neighbour?" Baekhyun said that with a question, because he still had no idea about the man's name, the taller one laughed back at him.

"Chanyeol, my name is Chanyeol" He wanted to reach out a hand to shake and properly meet, but both of his hands were busy, one with the leash and the other with the cup of coffee, he giggled at himself making Baekhyun laugh too.

"And what about you _Neighbour_?" He asked Baekhyun, while he was locking the door. Baekhyun smirked at the memory of the nickname that his Neigh...Chanyeol, had given him.

"Cookie Monster is nice" He said when he turned around, his smile not fading at all, not even for a second, slightly shoving Chanyeol with his elbow.

"But my name Is Baekhyun, Byun Baekhyun" He giggled at himself, because he was feeling okay at this moment, finally not having that heaviness in his heart. It was gone only because he said that he wanted to do something, _something new_ that wouldn't hurt him, not again.

"That's quite a unique name" Chanyeol said, while sipping from his coffee and a second after, he moaned.

"Mmm, That's fucking delisious, what did you do?" He asked Baekhyun as they walked toward the elevator.

"Well, I kind of dipped two Oreos in there too" He tried to stop his giggle but it was in vain, making Chnayeol laugh.

"What? They are in the cup?" baekhyun nodded with a smile, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, somwhere on the bottom" Baekhyun saw that Chanyeol's eyes lit up with a sparke, that he could recognize as a challenge to see, if there were really Oreos in there.

' _He reallly likes them, doesn't he'_ Baekhyun thought to himself, as he patted the dog on the head, running his long finger through his, now fluffy fur. It was very soft, Baekhyun didn't think it would feel so nice to pat him when he saw him all wet, he thought that his fur felt like a cactus.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

They were sitting in the park, that was almost as close as the school was to their building, but in the other direction. The air felt all too good for Baekhyun, he could feel like he was finally breathe freely, it all tasted different ' _Such a small thing, who knew it could change so much'_  He thought as he looked at Chnayeol who was, now aggressively trying to get his Oreos out of the cup. Baekhyun giggled and Chanyeol looked at him, faking an offended face.

"It's your fault that this is happening, why did you had to put them in there and not giving me a spoon" Chanyeol answered to Baekhyun's gigling and kept trying to get them with his tongue.

Baekhyun kept his smile on, but inside he kind of darkened, because memories rushed into his mind, when Chanyeol said the words _'Your Fault'_  It was somekind of trigger for Baekhyun, even though noone ever said those exact words to him.

He remembered everything again, making him believe that it's all his fault. Baekhyun moved his attention to the dog which was just running around happily

 _'Atleast you're happy now buddy, I hope one day i would be too, just like you. Find my place and live happily'_ Baekhyun sighed feelinghis anxiety coming back and the gray nothingness wrapping around his heart.

"HA!" Chanyeol interrupted Baekhyun's soon-to-fall-into-depression-session that he had few times a day, usualy.

"Finally got them!" He was smiling cheerfully, at the empty cup.

"That was fun" He licked his lips as, he looked at Baekhyun.

"You know, you could've used our finger to get them out, it would've been easier" Baekhyun stated, kind of drained out of energy now.

"And what's the fun in that?" Chanyeol replied, not for a second lingering his usual smile. Baekhyun scoffed and looked at the dog again. It was quiet for awhile, Baekhyun was about to say, that he was going to leave for his 'Job' that he didn't have at the moment and actually cry all day in his apartment, because this turned out to be a failure and he had fooled himself that maybe he could live normaly, thats when Chnayeol said, taking him away from his thought.

"Let's name him, he still doesn't have a name you know" Baekhyun scoffed again, because once again his neighbour Chanyeol had pulled him away from his dark memories and heavy thoughts.

"I want it to be something simpl eand catchy" Baekhun's raised an eyebrow at Chanyeol.

"Catchy?" He asked, Chanyeol licked his lips that were probably still too sweet from the cookies and ran his finger through his messy hair.

"Yeah, like a summer song or something?" Baekhyun laughed at that, because it sounded ridiculous, who on Earth would want to name his dog like a summer song.

"What about.." Baekhyun thought for a moment.

"Jong..ah no, not that" He looked around and then spotted a kid with a skateboard, sitting on the bench close to them, drinking a refreshment drink called CocoPalm

"Ko..Ko?" Baekhyun hesitated, looking back at Chanyeol, who was looking back at him confused.

"Koko?" He asked, Baekhyun only nodded.

"Yes! That's the summer's spirint! It's fresh!" Chanyeol laughed at Baekhyun's excitement.

"Isn't that a drink?"

"It is, but It's CocoPalm, his name will be Koko with a K and not C" Baekhyun thought for a second and now it was sounding dumber than anything else. He frowned at himself, because he wasn't good enough even for this, not even able to think of a proper name for a pet.

"It sounds like a parrot name" Chanyeol said, Baekhyun looked away sad and he was about to apologize and leave for real this time, but then Chanyeol yelled.

"I love it! KOKO! COME HERE BUDDY!" Baekhyun was surprised from his reaction looking at him, who was now on his feet with his arms spread as if he was waiting a hug from the dog, that was running towards him already like it knew that it was his name. In few seconds it was there infront of Chanyeol, waving his tail wanting a hug. Chanyeol squatted in frong of it and patted his head, then hugged him.

"Did you hear buddy, your name is Koko, do you like it?" The dog just liked Chanyeol's hand and he laughed in response looking back at Baekhyun.

"He loves it" He said smiling brightly, Baekhyun smiled shyly, looking away feeling his heart warming again. When Chanyeol sat on the bench again, Baekhyun decided that he would stay a little longer, because he was feeling better because of all this scenery around him, it was all nice.

"How did you do it?" Baekhyun asked Chanyeol, who moved his proud like father gaze from Koko to Baekhyun, questioning now.

"It hasn't been like a day, since you have him and he is already listening to you like he has been yours for years?" Baekhyun asked and the next second he realized, that Chanyeol might wonder how Baekhyun knew since when he had the dog, so he rushed to explain. Baekhyun didn't want him to think that he was a stalker or something worse.

"I saw you yesterday, how you took him in" Chanyeol smiled back.

"Well.." He took a deep breath "When I was a teenager, my grandmother lost her sight. It was somekind of sickness, that couldn't be cured and slowly she went blind. We had to adopt a dog to help her around, since we lived away from her. When we got the dog it was a little baby. A Golden Retriever, they said it was the best for that job, helpig people, so I started training it. I read a lot of books how to do whatever it was requiered and how to make it a good buddy. In the end it turned out one of my grandmother's best friends" Chnayeol smiled again as he finished the story, Baekhyun wanted to ask how was his grandmother now, what happened to her, but he thought it was too personal or maybe painful so he just held it back. He didn't know what to say, Chanyeol continued instead.

"So I pulled those old tricks froom my sleeve and they work with no doubt, he was so wild when I saw him, but my heart clench seeing him left out alone, I couldn't leave him like that" Baekhyun was looking into nothingness now, thinking _'Will ever someone see me, the way Chnayeol saw this dog. feeling the pain and loss he was feeling and taking him under his wing and loving him for the rest of his life'_   Baekhyun tried to smile back, because Chanyeol was looking at him.

He felt like he had to share something too, because Chanyeol did share a story about his grandmother and probably expected something in return, but Baekhyun wasn't ready to really open up like that to anyone. To talk about himself or his past or his feelings whatsoever, but he tried anyway.

"I.." His voice sounded way too broken at the momet, so he cleared his throat and spoke more firmly.

"I always wanted a dog, but never really had the time or the opportunity" He admitted, Baekhyun loved all living creatures, but he couldnt take'good care of them. He had a fish when he was 9 years old, his name was Bop and it just died out of nowhere, that's when Baekhyun swore, never to have a pet again, because he couldn't bare to see them die, burying his best friends.

"Well then, you can come and play with Koko if you want and put some more tricky Oreos in the coffee for me to try and fetch like a dog" Chanyeol replied with a laugher, making Baekhyun smile again, this time for real, because Baekhyun could see, more likely feel all of Chanyeol's positivity and it was affecting him. He was going back to his usual stated, but just for a minute or two, Chanyeol didn't really let him dwell and maybe that was a good thing. Maybe Chanyeol, the tall perfect starnger/teacer was the thing that would help Baekhyun to move on.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Few days had passed and the morning walk with Baekhyun's home made coffee in the park became a routine for both of them. Koko didn't want to go out without Baekhyun, it was loyal to him, for feeding him.

Every day Chnayeol had admired Baekhyun's skills at making coffee and kept asking how does he make it. Of course Baekhyun was always adding something different in it, to have a slight difference in the taste and never missing the Oreos in the bottom of the cup.

In the end Baekhyun admitted, that he spentsome time reading and learning how to be a barista, so he knew a thing or two about making coffee, the right way to make people fall in love with it.

When Chanyeol saw, that Baekhyun was in a sharing mood he had asked what did he work now and Baekhyun admitted, that he was jobless at the moment and that nothing was really working out for him, nothing more.

Chnayeol knew that, it was enough said so he told Baekhyun about himself instead of asking for more. Baekhyun was glad that Chanyeol was observent and understanding in that matter and now pushing him and invading his personal space.

He shared that was a music teacher for over 5 years now and that he loved to teach kids to play different instuments. He could play on drums, guitar both acoustic and electric, piano, he could sing and rap a bit.

Baekhyun learned that his neightbour was very talanted that day, he wished that he could do at least one of those things. Baekhyun told him that it was kind of his dream to learn to play a guitar and Chanyeol promised, that he will teach him when the vacation starts and he has more free time.

Every morning for over hour and a half Baekhyun's sadness was replaced with smiles and talks about stupid little things, but it was making him feel better so it didn't matter, until he got back to his apartment, that's when things were back to usual again with same old anxiety and sadness around him.

 

Today Baekhyun was in one of his black holes, thinking how worthless he was because he accidently spilled the waterfor the ramyeon, that he was going to make for dinner.

"You can't even prepare a simple instant dinner, without fucking up, can you.." Baekhyun said to him while he was moping the floor, he heard someone knocking at the door. Baekhyun sighed, because it was probably the landlady for the monthly payment.

Baekhyun had his own apartment, but he didn't want to go back there so he lived in a rented place. He loved the view here anyway, so he wasn't going to move away anytime soon, so he didn't want to make the landlady upset in any way.

"Coming!" Baekhyun yelled as he wiped his hands and walked to the door, when he opened and saw Chanyeol standing there, he was more then surprised.

"Chanyeol?" He asked with raised eyebrows, looking out for the landlady.

"Is everything alright?" Baekhyun got worried, because it wasn't usual for him to come at night.

"Sorry.. I hope it's not a bad time?" He asked laughing awkwardly, Baekhyun smiled at him, moving away from the door.

"It's not, come in. Just be careful, the floor is wet and it's a bit slippy, an accident happned while I was pretending to be the new Master Chef of Korea and cook myself some instant ramyeon" He laughed at himself, as he closed the door after Chnayeol, who was gigling walking to the kitchen counter.

"Well all Master Chef's had their fails too" He laughed and put his groceries there.

"I came because I was in the store to get myself something for dinner and then I went to get some Oreos, that's when I saw that there were a kind of cookies" He said with the proudest smile, as he took them out of the plastic bag.

"I couldn't help myself and not take them for you, I know how much you wanted to try something new" Baekhyun was looking at his hand, which was holding a chocolate coconut flavored cookies.

"Oh god!" Baekhyun gasped, as he rushed walking to Chanyeol and grabbing them out of his large hand, like little a child. Chnayeol was laughing, while Baekhyun was trying to open them up, before he knew it the cookies were gone, Chanyeol had snatched them from his hands.

"Hey!" Baekhyun yelled upset, Chanyeol waved his finger at Baekhyun.

"Nope, nothing sweet before dinner" Baekhyun frowned and pouted, while Chanyeol moved to the kitchen cabinet and left them on top of it. now they were out of Baekhyun's reach, who was mentally cursing Chanyeol at the moment, while looking at him with murderous eyes.

"Now" Chanyeol claped with his hands, looking back at Baekhyun, smiling.

"Would you mind if you have a real Master Chef in your kitchen? You look like you need a good meal, you've been starving yourself haven't you" Baekhyun looked down at himself, he noticed that lately his clothes were getting bigger, but didn't really thought about eating more, he wasn't really hungry most of the time. He sighed as he walked to the counter.

"Alright, I will help you" Still thinking about the Chocolate Coconut cookies.

 

They were laughing and talking while Chanyeol was making pasta by his own original recipe, while Baekhyun was giving him what he needed, because Chanyeol had no idea where were the things sorted at.

When it was all ready, they had dinner together, talking about the new children who came in Chanyeol's class and how it was hard to teach them anything, because they were little rebels and Chanyeol whined most of the time, how he had no idea what to do with them. It was all nice, so nice that Baekhyun had completely forgotten about the cookies that were still on top on the cabinet, he remembered about them few minutes after Chanyeol left his apartment and the sadest part was that Baekhyun didn't have a latter.

He kept staring at them for what seemed like a few hours, drooling imagening the staste, when someone knocked on the door again. Baekhyun rushed to open it and as he did he started yelling, without looking. 

"Get your ass back here and give me my cookies!" When he looked who was standing in front of him, it wasn't Chanyeol, it was his landlady. Baekhyun's air got stuck in his throat and he blushed like never before, bowing few times, apologizing to the old lady.

"I'm really sorry Mrs. Hwan" He bowed again.

"I will give you the money right away" He said, as he rushed inside to find his wallet, still feeling his face burning. When he walked back, handing the money to her and bowing again

"Ah, It's okay my boy, you're such a nice young man, always paying on time" She said squeezing Baekhyun's cheeks from both sides.

"You remind me of my son so much, so handsome" She laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

"If you need anything, just tell me alright, Baekhy?" The old lady kind of loved to call him that, Baekhyun always thought that she is nice to him only because he looked like her son, not for any other reason.

"Well.. Actually, do you by any chance have a latter?.." He asked awkwardly, because he knew for what stupid thing he needed it. The lady was about to answer, when Chanyeol showed up.

"That won't be necessary" He said at the lady, bowing his said with a smile.

"I'll help you, with your problem" Chanyeol smirked at him, slightly winking, while Baekhyun was glaring at him. The lady left, wishing them both a good night.

When they were inside, Chanyeol was giggling.

"So you remembered that you left me to drool in front of my sink" Baekhyun said mad, crossing his arms in front of his chest, leaning on the refrigerator.

"Not exactly" Chanyeol laughed, walking to where he left the cookies.

"I heard you yelling to get my ass here" He kept giggling.

"Sorry Baek it wasn't on purpose" He said, as he took the cookies down and left them on to the counter.

"Here, happy?" Chanyeol asked with a smile and raise eyebrows. Baekhyun wanted to keep frowning, but his eyes landed on the package and he just couldn't help himself from going closer and opening them, he couldn't wait to already try them.

He was eating one when, Chanyeol reached to take one forhimself, Baekhyun slapped his hand away, saying with his mouth full, few crumbs falling out.

"None for you, because you put me through this" Chanyeol laughed at him, ruffling his hair like he was a small child.

"You really are one Cookie Monster, arent you" Chanyeol walked out of the apartment, leaving Baekhyun to enjoy his moment with the new cookies.

While baekhyun was eating, he thought that maybe he was too rude to his friend. After all he bought them for him and Baekhyun didn't let him try them. He felt a bit guilty, because he had no idea how to make friends let alone how to keep them, so he decided that tomorrow's coffee was going to have a new Coconut surprise in the bottom of the cup and he was going to apologize for acting like a child.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Just like that a whole week had passed, without notice. The buying groceries and cooking dinner at Baekhyun's apartment became a routine as well, as the mornig walks.

Baekhyun and Chnayeol were spending a lot of time together every day, Baekhyun didn't really have enough time to be sad now, only when he was alone some memories came back but he pushed them away and while he was with Chanyeol, he didn't give him a chance to think or stay quiet.

There was always blabbering and laughing and jokes, Baekhyun was smiling most of the time and it all felt unreal to him at some point, because everything changed so much for just a week. He was freely communicating now without awkwardness and he could talking freely about himself as well.

Baekhyun was thinking, that maybe it was time to find himself a normal job, because his bank saving was running low by the day. 

 

Today they were watching a soccer game, they watched something every evening after dinner. Sometimes movies, sometimes sports.

They were drinking beer and yelling at the screen together, having fun and relaxing.

When the game was over Chanyeol switched the channel to see what was on and stopped at the news andlistened at what the reported was sayig.n

" _Today, after 3 months of investigation the famous lawyer, Kim Shin was arrested for tax evasion and iligal deals, Shin said that he had nothing--_ " Chanyeol turned off the TV scoffing at it. That was the first time when Baekhyun saw Chnayeol not smiling at least a bit, his eyes were dark and his face emotionless.

"What is it?" Baekhyun asked, Chanyeol's eyes moved to him, they were cold and scary for a moment and when he realized that he was looking at Baekhyun they lit up like they usualy are and a fake half smile crawed on his face.

Maybe Baekhyun asked something too personal, he shook his head.

"Doesn't matter, you don't have to tell me" Chanyeol took another can of beer, opening it and heavely letting his body sink into the couch.

"No it's not that, It's just not a big deal" He sighed, as he sipped from the beer. Baekhyun only nodded, understaning, everybody had they dark past hidden inside, he knew that better than anyone else. Chanyeol continued even though Baekhyun didn't expect him to.

"7 years ago everything between me and my parents ended, because my father wanted me to be a lawyer and deal with his dirty things in his company. They only had me so they could have someone to depend on to clear their dirty stuff. My father hated me most of the time and my mother was just trying to be good, because she wanted to live a good life and was actually thinking only about the money my father had. One day when I was old enough to have a mind of my own and defend it, I said that I won't do what he tells me and that I don't want to have anything todo with his dirty money. That's when he kicked me out the house and told me to never come back, my mother didn't do anything about it, I can't blame her anyway. I was good with music, atleast that's what my teacher always said to me when I was little, that I had it in me. That's when I started going here and there, trying doing something related with music, but nothing really worked. One day I found my teacher in a school, Junmyeon. That man saved my life, he took me in hishouse, fed me and taught me everything I know today. Then after awhile he helped me to get a job as a teacher, just like him and things worked out pretty well after that. I can call him a true father, my old man can't even be as half as amazing Junmyeon is."

Baekhyun was looking at him, taking another beer as well, drinking from it. He thought about sharing his own story too, maybe it was from the alchohol but he wanted to say it out loud for the first time in his life.

When he looked at Chanyeol, he was staring at him.

"That's my sad story" Chanyeol laughed mockingly, taking another sip.

"You don't have to say anything or feel sorry" Chanyeol ran his finget through his hair, leaning back on the couch. Baekhyun scoffed, biting his lips while playing with the can of beer between his hands, making curcles on it with his long fingers, it was easeir to talk that way, not looking.

"Well.. My story..." He felt his breath hitching, troat closing, it was hard for him to breathe, but he had to get it out, atleast once. Baekhyun clearned his troat, still looking down at his hands, taking a deep breath.

"I never really had a family, I was an orphan for all of my life, never have been adopted. I had big dreams, I wanted to help people, it always felt right, inside so I studied and studied until I got out of that pit. I fought through the _'You're an orphan, noone wants you that means you're good for nothing'_   I got over that and proved eveybody that I was worth something. I was working at few places while studyung, so I could pay for it and in the end I was the best in the class. Everyone hated me for that _'The orphan who had it all'_   Then I became a surgeon and helped people. That was my happiness really, my purpose in life. Seeing people hugging their loved ones after they haverecovered from an incident, saving their lives, just helping. I was the best, not even one patient died at my table, not ever. I had good payment and my life was good, then I met a girl"

Baekhyun stopped, placing a hand over his chest, swallowing thickly and taking a deep breath. Chnayeol was staring at him with sparkling eyes, but Baekhyun couldn't see that, because he was too lost in his own memories. He didn't even noticed when Chanyeol had brought him a bottle of soju, placing it in front of him, but he didn't drink, he wasn't really here.

"She was the love of my life, she was everything to me, the family that I never had, the true friend that I always lacked, just simply everything to complete me. We got engaged after we dated forover an year and we were supposed to get married in the spring, it was winter when it happened..." Baekhyun's eyes moved to the bottle of soju, he took it and drank few sips.

"Year and a half ago, she came home in the middle of the night, drunk, a man's perfume all over her.. I had my suspicions at the time, that she might be having an affair with someone, but everytime she said that she loved me I believed her like a fool ,ebause i was naive."He stopped to sigh at himself and how stupid he was for believing her.

"That night she just didn't expect me to be home, I was supposed to be on a night shift and be back in the morning, but my boss said that I deserved some rest after working a whole week, without any free days, so I was there when she came home. She was looking at me saying _'I can explain'_   eyes full with tears, but not one really falling. I knew that there was nothing to be explained, that if I forgave her and we continued, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I knew that it was over for me nomatter how painful it was, she saw it too, that's when she started crying for real, saying that she would change and not do it again, that she loved me..." Baekhyun drank again.

"She told me that I couldn't leave her, that I was nothing without her, that I couldn't live without her, but I just started packing my things without saying anything. That's when she came at me.. And attacked me with a knife" Baekhyun rubbed his chest as if it still hurted.

"Thankfully I managed to stop her right before she could do anything too serious and told her that it was over, walking out of the apartment" Baekhyun scoffed at himself looking into nothingness, still there caught in that moment. Chanyeol didn't know what to say, so he just placed a hand on his shoulder.

"And you know what's the funniest thing, after she attacked me I developed PTSD, I couldn't hold the scalpel anymore, I was shaking, getting panic attacks. I couldn't do anything anymore, so I got fired and not only that problem occurred. I stopped trusting people, I closed and isolated myself from the world, thinking that it was safe. Since then everything was going down and only down, I tried working in several places, but nothing really worked. I had trust issues, on top of that I strated beliving that everything that went wrong was all my fault and only my fault and..." He exhaled, looking at Chanyeol now, finally back in the room.

"Here we are" He reahed out his arms to showed the space.

There was nothing that Chanyeol could say or do to make things better and both of them knew that, so Baekhyun said.

"It's okay, you don't have to feel pity for me, we all have our traumas, I'm okay" He said as he stood up, going to the kitchen counter. He leaned on it, his head down between his arms, Chanyeol walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder again, trying to give him support in this hard moment and somekind of comfort.

"You know...You're the first person that I told about this..." He was breathing heavely not moving, eyes shut, fighting the tears back.

"Baek..." Chanyeol sighed, rubbing his back, which made it even harder for Baekhyun not to cry.

"It's late, you should go" Baekhyun said muffling a sob.

"Baek.." He tried again, but was cut off by a yell.

"Just Go!" Chanyeol could see the tears, that were falling on the floor, but not Baekhyun's face. After a moment or two Chanyeol left the apartment, leaving Baekhyun to cry and sob as much as he needed to, untill he was calm again. He thought that, this was the best thing he could do in this situation.

When Baekhyun was alone he let out a loud sob, falling down on the floor, leaning his back against the refrigerator and kept crying like that, until he was drained out of his energy and fell asleep on the cold floor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

On the next morning Baekhyun woke up with a headache pounding in his head, he was still on the floor in the kitchen. He didn'tremember much from last night, but enough to know how much he had fucked up.

"Fuck..." He sighed, as he reached to put a hand on his head.

"Chanyeol's coffee.. I have to make him coffee.." He slowly stood up, all of his body in pain, every muscle because of the unnatural sleeping position. He looked at the clock on the refrigerator and saw that it was paassed 10:30AM

"I overslept, did Chanyeol come today and I didn't hear him" He asked himself, gasping in pain from the headache, placing a hand on his forehead.

Usualy they went to the park around 6AM, that time was long passed now. Baekhyun wondered how did Chanyeol managed to make Koko go out without him.

He took a painkiller because with every thought another wave ofpain struck him. After awhile the pain was bearable, but not completely gone.

The whole day Baekhyun was thinking about the night before and what he had said to Chanyeol, every memory coming back slowly to his mind. He was rude, very rude for making him leave like that, yelling at him even, but Baekhyun didn't want anyone to see him in that kind of state, weak and helpless.

He was going to explain that to Chanyeol later when they cooked dinner and apologize as well, for letting the alchocol take out the worst from him.

The day passed quietly, his headache slowly coming back, but the thought of spending the night with Chanyeol over a nice meal and some funny movie was making him feel better.

He patiently waited for 8PM, exactly when Chanyeol would knock on the door, waiting with a big bright smile and hands full with griceries. 

When the clock moved to 8:15 and noone came Baekhyun got worried, maybe something had happened.

"Youre delusional Baekhyun" He said to himself, sitting nerveously on the couch, staring at the clock.

"He must be late, because of a class"

It was 9:30 and still no sign of Chanyeol. Baekhyun stood up, determind to go and look for him, maybe something bad had happened.

"Are you obssesed with the person now?" He said to himself, shaking his head.

"Everything is fine, just make your own dinner, he is probably just busy.. O _r doesn't want to see you_ " A voice sounded in his mind, Baekhyun shook his head again making all thoughts go away.

He made some instant ramyeon and when he tried a bite, the taste was just terrible, once the food that he love the most and ate everyday, now tasted like trash and he hated it.

Baekhyun wanted Chanyeol's home cooked delicious meals. He wasn't even hungry, so he left the ramyeon to go cold on it's own at the counter.

11:30.

"Where are you Chanyeol..." Baekhyun, started walking aroud the apartment, uneasy. Sitting on the couch, standiing up, looking through the window, all kinds of bad thoughts going through his mind, even the worst..

"No, he can't be dead can he..." Bakhyuhn felt his heart clenching in his chest, he couldn't take a breath, only by the thought of Chnayeol laying somewhere on the cold ground.

There was a lightning followed by a loud thunder outside...Baekhyun could see the lifeless body in his mind, that was soon to be all wet by the rain. His bright schiny smile gone, his face cold and expressionless.

"Ah! Stop it! He is fine!" Baekhyun grabbed his head with both hands _'Of course he is fine, he just doesn't want to do anything with a loser and patheic piece of shit like you'_   He knew that it was his fault, that Chanyeol didn't come today, that his fucked up life story made him go away and it all his fault.

4AM.

Baekhyun was shifting and turning in his bed under the covers, it was too cold or too hot all the time, he couldn't sleep. His mind was a mess of different pictures and scenarios of Chnayeol's death or how he hated him for what he was. A useless loner, who has nothing to offer and it'sbetter offwithout him in his life.

"That's it!" Baekhyun yelled mad and jumped out of bed, dressing himself and taking a screwdriver with him in one hand. He opened the front door and started removing the whole handle and the mechanism. That's how he was planning to spent the next two hours until Chanyeol comes out from his apartment and prove to Baekhyun, that he was alive and well.

6AM.

Baekhyun was still playing with the handle, he was lost in it. He had no idea about the time, Baekhyun just couldn't figure it out what did he do wrong, that it wasn't working fine. He couldn't find the place for one spring, so he had to call a professionalist to fix it later.

That's when the door next to Baekhyun's opened and Koko walked out, after him Chanyeol. He didn't see Baekhyun at first _'See, I told you that he was fine'_ calmness spilled all over Baekhyun's body when he saw, that Chanyeol was okay.

Koko notined him and barked, dragging Chanyeol's attention, making look at Baekhyun _'Oh no...'_   Baekhyun expected a cold look, the one he saw lastnight while Chanyeol was talking about his father, because his first theory was wrong - he wasn't dead, but what about the second one - that he didn't want to be his friend anymore.

 

When Chnayeol looked at him, his eyes were sparkling as usual, nothing was different and after a second hiw big shiny smile was on his face, waving at Baekhyun cheerfully for a goodmorning. Baekhyun felt something in his stomatch, something that haven't felt for the last two years and a half.

"Fuck..." Baekhyun sighed under his breath, grabbing the shirt over his chest, right where his heart was beatinglike crazy

"No..." He whispered, Chanyeol's expresion changed the second, he saw what was happening to baekhyun, he was worried from what he was seeing.

"Baekh..." He reached for him, but Baekhyun ran inside his apartment and slammed the door shut, right in front of Chanyeol's face.

Baekhyun sat on the floor with his back against the door, his head in his hands.

"No, no, fuck no...Not again" He was having something like a panic attack, he couldn't really take a breath.

He tried to breathe, inhaling few big breathes, calming himself down and then looking at his hands, which were still slighly shaking.

"I'm in love with him..." Baekhyun sighed, as realization slowly creeped inside his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very special thank you to Lee Taemin  
> Who made this chapter possible with his amazing masterpieces  
> Sayonara Hitori and Flame Of Love  
> Thank you Taemin for inspiring me


	3. Hallucinations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was supposed to be the shortest one out of them all  
> but it ended up the longest.. Oh God :D

Baekhyun was packing his things, well not all ofthem. He just needed a few shirts and two pair of pants if he was goingto spent acuple of days away. He couldn't stay forever on the island even if he wanted to, the lack of money came in the worst moment possible.

Baekhyun wanted to go far away, clear his head forget about Chanyeol for awhile and what had happened, so no matter how expensive it was on Jeju, he was going there. He wasn't sure if Chanyeol has left and that he wouldn't try to knock on the door and accidentaly get in get in his apartment, so Baekhyun blocked the front door with a chair, because the lock was still broken. He had called a locksmith, but it would take awhile for him to come.

 

When he had packed the things he needed and was ready to leave, taking out his credit card. Baekhyun looked at it like he was going to spend all of his money that were left inside, someone knocked on the door and Baekhyun got frightened, jumped abit because he thought that it was Chanyeol. He went to the door and asked.  

"Who  is it?" He was sitting on the chai, ready to push it and the door along with it if it was his neightbour, but the locksmith replied.

"You called to fix your lock?" Baekhyun smile and moved the chair away, slightly opening the door, looking around to make sure that Chanyeol wasn't still there.

"Yes. Please fix this, because I'm in a hurry" He said as polite as he could under the circumstances. The locksmith didn't waste any time and fixed it for less than 10 minutes.

Baekhyun gave him some money, thanking him and sending him on his way. Baekhyun made sure that nothing was turned on before he left his apartment, becuase a a fire and burning building was the last thing he needed right now. He locked his apartment and left in a hurry, getting in the taxi cab, that was waiting for him in front the bulding.

 

When he was at the airport, Baekhyun saw that the tickets were way too expensive, but he decided not to think about that now. He decided to just spend all of his money and deal with whatever comes next, later when it actually happens. He just had to clear his head and going on a vacation was the best good idea.

 

In the airplane Baekhyun tried to rest, but his thoughts were filling his mind. Chanyeol was mainly in there and some memories of his past.

A trip and his honeymoon was supposed to be on Jeju, But baekhyun never got to do that, because he never got married, they were planning it a lot before the incident. Rubbing his chest again, taking a deep breath, but this time it felt different. It wasn't as heavy as usual when he thought of his ex-fiance.

They were supposed to spend a week or more there, being in love with all the romantic things that people who loved eachother did on honeymoons, which baekhyun always dreamt of doing. They were supposed to remember it forever as the best thing in their lives, but instead Baekhyun was going there alone now, trying to forget the actual feeling of love, because that was his worst fear out of them all.

To fall again and to be broken even further than he was now, there was no way he could recover from that, not again.

While the thoughts of Chanyeol passed through his mind everytime Baekhyun felt at ease, remembering Chanyeol's smile, made his heart melt and feel calmer than he usual was, the way his eyes were sparkling while looking at him made Baekhyun feel worth it for the first time since his dramatic breakup, if he could even call it that. The way Chanyeol moved made Baekhyun imagine things like, how his long fingers would feel over his skin tracing patterns all over him, how would it feel to touch his face and feel his lips.

Before Baekhyun knew he was hapilly smiling at himself with closed eyes in the airplane, daydreaming. He shooke his head.

"No, stop" He said to himself, pushing away all of the nice feelings and thoughts, he knew that if he kept them in his mind it would only make it worse for him. Make him fall deeper and that was not agood thing, he had to forget it all and never think of those things again. Baekhyun took out his phone and started playing games, distracting himself.

 

 

When he arrived at the iseland and got off the airplane, the firt thing that Baekhyun noticed was the fresh and clean air, that was filling his lungs. It so much more different than in the city ,he felt like he could beeathe _'Imagine what it would've felt if you were here with him'_   He thought another, images of both him and Chanyeol smiling at eachother, holding hands. How they had just landing there and seeing the bright green colors surrounding them, all the beautiful flowers the bright blue sky above their heads, but Baekhyun would only see Chanyeol, none of those thing would really matter if he had him.

That's when he realized, that he was day dreaming about his neighbour again, his forbidden neightbour, he had to forget Baekhyun reminded himself.

 

Baekhyun took a taxi, while he was traveling to get to the small city he put his headphones on and played his songs on shuffle, the first one that came on was Taemin's Sayonara Hitori. Baekhyun sighed at the thought that it was suiting the situation pretty perfecly, he closed his eyes again, relaxing on the back seat. He imagined the unique music video that was one of his most favorite, he had heard that song way too many times, he even knew the choreography to it.

The song broke his heart every time he heard it, but he kept listening to it. There were days when he would listen to it all day long, then little by little he stopped, because it all reminded him of his ex and when he started gerring over her he stoped listening to it.

 

 

When they arrived in the city, Baekhyun was half awake because he was too tired from lastnight's adventure in his imagination.

"We're here sir" Baekhyun opened his eyes when the driver shoved him, thinking that he was asleep but Baekhyun haven't heard him, because he was with his headphones and the song was still playing on repeat.

"I'm sorry" He said as he took out his card, paying for the taxi.

He went inside the hotel without really looking around, he didn't care much about anything right now, he was too tired to even think now, Baekhyun only wanted to sleep. 

"One room please" He said mumbling at the girl on the reception the girl was smiling politely at him.

"Room service included or not?" Baekhyun thought that it will be hell of expencive if he added that too, so he said no. He asked if there was a bar in the hotel and the girl said that it was on the roof with a pool, he only nodded and thank her for the service.

Going into his room and just like that, he threw his back back on the floor, turned his phone off and collapsed on the bed, falling asleep instantly.

 

 

~ Baekhyun was walking in an alley in the middle of the night, there was noone around, it was only himn. The alley was long, he couldn't see the end of it, but he kept walking forward because he could feel, that something was waiting for him at the end.

Then he heard something moving behind him, Baekhyun looked back but only saw a shadow passing by, he could feel the fear raising in his body from the unknown threat. He heard a laugher, deep and creepy that's whenall of the lights turned out and baekhyun started running ahead to the endless path.

There were no corners, that he could hide and it wasn't wide enough, it seemed like the walls were getting closer and closer to each other and crash Baekhyuhn in the end. He was getting the feeling of claustrophobia, but he kept running, aware that something very very bad was after him, wanting to hurt him and maybe kill him.

He looked ahead, trying to find that feeling of where he belonged, but instead of fidning a light everything was black now and after few more steps he hit against a metal door which was locked. Baekhyun turned around to try and find another way, but suddenly he was in a cage, that evil laughed rouse again from the darkness.

"Where do you think you're going?" The voice asked, stepping ahead showing itself. Baekhyun saw a tall black figure, leather pants and long leather coat, when the man raised his head alloying Baekhyun to see his face, it was Chanyeol, looking at him with a wicked smile and playful eyes.

"You can't runaway from me" He said, unloking the cage and geting in. Baekhyun backed away frim him but his back was pressed again the bars, already. there wasn't enough space for him to go or run, Chanyeol was smiling at him. That smile suited the devil himself, he licked his lips, taking a knife out from his belt, Baekhyun shivered at the shight, becausehe knew how painful it was to be cut.

"Do you want to do the honors?" Chanyeol had asked someone who was still standing in the shadows behind him, his head turning to a side, looking into the darkness, a woman's giggled filled the silence.

"Of course" She replied coming into view and there she was, like a fallen black angel, exactly the same as Baekhyun remembered her.

His ex-fiance Taeyeon, licking the edge of the knife, that Chanyeol was holdind. ~

 

 

Baekhyun woke up soaked in hisown sweat, heart racing like it ws about to get out of his chest, heavy breathing.

He was trying to calm himself, controlling himself not letting apanic attack break out.

"What the fuck was that" Baekhyun gasped, as he leaned his head in both hands.

"What do you want from me" He asked desperately, almist crying out.

"Leave me alone!" He said, so broken that he could feel every cell in his body giving up on fighting with his demons, he collapsed on the bed again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

He woke up again and felt even worse now, like he haven't slept in few days, but at least this time there were no dreams.

Baekhyun went to the bathroom, washing his face to awake himself up and planning to get wasted, because any thought that came to his mind was related to the nightmare he had and even Chanyeol's daydream smile in his memory, couldn't help the fear he was feeling right now.

 

Baekhyun went on the roof, it was too crowded for his linking, but he had no choice anyway. He walked to the bar, looking around making sure that he was far away from everybody else. The bartender was a black haired girl, who smiled brightly at Baekhyun.

"What would you like sir?" Her smile reminded him of Chanayel's, he sighed and said leaning his elbows on the bar, putting his head in his hands.

"The cheapest one and lots of it" The girl's smile went away after seeing how desperate, the man in front of her was, but she didn't do anything else than give him what he wanted, a whole bottle of whiskey. Baekhyun took it and moved to the edge onthe roop, leaning there, pouring a cup and drinking it all at once.

He was looking out, realizing that it was dark already, one day had passed, one wasted day for nothing and too many spent money. He drank one more, looking over to the city, he could see all the lights lingering.

It was beautiful, he had to admit that there were alot of good things in this world, but none ever happened to him. Atleast not anymore and not the good ones, the ones that could give him life and make him whole again.

He kept drinking while observing the view that he had. The ocean that was as back as the darkness in his nightmare, woods that seemed calm but felt crazy and lonely, houses in which people lived their happy everyday life. Everything was like in one of those movies that Baekhyun loved so much to watch, the romanitic drama genre ones, that fucked him up beucase he didn't have somoene to share everything with.

Someone who he would fall stupidly and madly in love, be like a child doing dumb stuff together like they were in high school again, no matter how old they were.

 _You have Chanyeol'_  A voice sounded in his head, Baekhyun hit his forehead with his hand.

"Shut up" He said and drinking more, the bottle was already half empty and things were getting very blury, just what he wanted. Baekhyun looked down from the edge of the building which was quite high from the ground.

"I wonder. what would it feel like to fly" He said to himsel, wanting to step over the edge and jump, just fly and feel the freedom that he never had. Freedom from himself and his own thoughts.

"Flying is dull" A woman's voice said, plasing a hand oon Baekhyun's shoulder, then she moved closer to whisper in his ear.

"I can make you feel something way more better" She slowly licked his ear. Baekhyun looked beside him, there was a tall beautiful woman, in a red dress, she was slim like a moder from a magazine cover. He could see every curve of her body because of that dress.

"I'm a mess" Baekhyun said more to himself tha her, drinking from the bottle and looking back at the scenery in front of him.

"Even better" The woman said, seductively moving her hand along his back, then to his shoulder, down to hi hand. Wrapping her fingers around Baekhyun's, gently pulling him to inside the building.

"Come with me, I promise that you will enjoy it" She said and Baekhyun followed her without thinking. With clouded mind he thought that maybe for tonight that's all he needed, someone to take it all away with just simple sex..

 

 

When they entered his room, she started kissing him roughly, pushing him against the wall. Her hands moving all over his body, removing his belt.

"How do you like it?" She asked, but Baekhyun didn't reply, switched their position. Now she was pressed against the wall and he was using way more strength than necessary, seemingly hurting the woman, but she didn't say anthing, just moaned.

"I dont care" Baekhyun said to her, everything was too dizzy to actually care.

Every time he glanced at the woman he, would see Taeyeon, the one he hated to the core of his existence, he wanted to get her out of his system.

The woman pushed him back and on the bed, then climbed on top of him, but that's when he saw Chanyeol instead. Baekhyun blinked once he saw Taeyon now, twice and it was the starnger again, who was unbuttoning his shirt, her hand on his chest. Baekhyun felt the adrenaline rush go through his vains and the panic attack coming, hedidn't want this, he had no idea who she was, he didn't trust her at all. 

"Stop" He said to the woman, but she was too lost while kissing his neck to hear, continueing to unbutton his shirt. Baekhyun pushed her away still on the bed and got up, now sober because of e adrenaline. It was happening again, the panic attack and he couldn't control it, because he let someone who he barely knew close to him.

"I said stop" He gasped for air, clenching at his chest. She came from behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"What's wrong" trying to unbutton his pants, but he moved away and without turning to look at her, he cut off.

"Leave" The woman only gasped unbelievably.

"What?" But Baekhyn didn't reply, he was just leaning on the window, looking out. It reminded him of his safe window at his little apartment.

"You bastard" The woman said, leaving and slaming the door behind her, but Baekhyun couldn't care less at this moment.

He didn't move until he was feeling calm again, that's when he went to the bathroom. There was a big mirror, he could see his reflection from head to toe.

"You can't even have a one night stand without hallucinations and having a panic attack, you worthless piece of shit" He said to the reflections, staring at himself for awhile then his fingers moved to the unbuttoned shirt. He started trembling as he continued to unbutton it, looking straigh in the mirror.

When he removed the shirt, letting it fall on the floor.

There was a massive scar across his chest, from his left collar bone until the middle, with his now pale shaking fingers he traced the scar, making his breath hitch at the memory.

"I hate you so much" He gasped, looking at himself again, then he saw another reflection stanind behind him, it was Chanyeol.

"You're beautilful" Chanyeol said to him, moving closer and placing a hand over Baekhyun's which was still on tyhe scar. Hugging him from behind, towering and protecting Baekhyun's body, he left calm now.

No matter how fragile he was baekhyun knew that Chanyeol would protect him. Closing his eyes a tear rolled down his face and fell on the back of his hand which was his chest.

When hew opened his eyes, Chanyeol was gone and only Baekhyun was standing there, alone and cold in the bathroom.

He was looking at the empty space above him, heavely breathing out without realizing that he was holding it. That's when he accepted that he couldn't run away or hide from his feelings for Chanyeol, it was pointless to lie to himself.

"I love you..." He whispered, thinking how would it feel to actually say it to him and be in his arms. Baekhyun knew that it was too late to even try to deny it now, he had to know that it was going tohappen the day when chanyeol made him smile, he had to know that things would end like this, but it was all pointless now, he was the only thing that made Baekhyun feel safe and happy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

On the next morning Baekhyun was on his way back to Seoul, he knew that he had wasted alot of money for literally nothing, but atleast he got to see Jeju if not anything else. It was really nice and he hoped to visit it again in the future and that it won't be alone next time.

It was feeling nice to be going back home, it's like he was home sick no matter that he was gone only one day.

When he got off the airplane, Baekhyun took the buss which stopped right acress the school, which wasn't a good idea because when he got off, Baekhyun realized that it was just about time for school to end and kids were going out from the building.

Baekhyun rushed to walk to his building before Chanyeol saw him andtried to talk to him. He was glad that it didn't happen, so he kept walking slowly after he was closeto his building.

When he was just about to go into his building, Baekhyun heard Chanyeol's voice calling for him.

"Baekhyun!" It was coming from behind, but Baekhyun didn't turn around he just rushed to get inside.

"Baek wait!" He yelled but Baekhyun didn't stop and rushed into the eleator. His heart was pounding uncontrollably, hoping that he was going to leave him be, but when he was on the 4th floor Baekhyun heard, that there were footsteps coming from the stairway.

It was Chanyeol hurrying to catch Baekhyun before he got into his apartment.

Baekhyun literally ran to his door and unlocked it, in that moment Chanyeol was on the other side of the corridor.

"Baek!" He yelled again, Baekhyun didn't look at him, he just walked inside, slamming the door again in Chanyeol's face. He was left outside for a second time, Baekhyun hoped that he won't stay there for long or try to get in, he easely could if he wanted to, having in mind his size.

Baekhyun's heart was beating way too fast, he sat on the floor, lettinghimself calm down. He really wanted to see Chanyeol but if he had looked at him Baekhyun would've froze. He knew that his falling in love was bad when it happened, he didn't just fall when it happened, when he was in love everything else didn't really matter, love was like a maze for him something that couldn't be escaped without getting ripped apart. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Baekhyun had decided to come to turms with himself and his feelings for Chanyeol just so he could sleep and eat like usual, accepting it all but not doing anything esle about it. Ignoring Chanyeol seemedlike the best option he had at the moment and run away for as long as he could.

Baekhyun didn't want to confront him in any way, neither his feelings, he just accepted it as a fact and tried to live with it. _Yes_ he did day dream about Chanyeol and look through the window every morning to see him taking Koko out, after 30 minutes of scratching on the door.

He was hiding behind the wall next to the window, when Chanyeol looked up hoping to see him, but in vain. Baekhyun was stealing little bits, that were forbidden, but it was enough for him to live without any major problems, well live until his money ran out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Exactly one week after Baekhyun came back from Jeju he was out of money and he had to look for a job. A  _real job_ this time and start working with people like a normal person, it was scary for Baekhyun but he knew that it was going to happen sooner ot later, so he started looking through the internet for jobs in the area.

When he didn't find anything, he remembered that one night when Chanyeol and Baekhyun had dinner, he told him that there was a café near the school and they were looking for a barista and since Baekhyun was good at it, he could go and ask for a job there and now that seemed like a very nice option.

Baekhyun got dressed as nicely, as a future barista was supposed to look, he didn't want to be too tidy, but neither he wanted to look careless.

He walked passed the school thinking how he didn't see or have any _'accidental'_ meetings with Chanyaeol other than the one, that he was chaising him and then he shut the door at Chanyeol's face.

Baekhyun was glad that Chanyeol didn't wait for him to get out and talk to him. He expected that to happen, so that's why he didn't ge out in the weekends at all and only when he was 100% sure that Chanyeol was in the school and in his class.

It was a sunny day, too sunny for Baekhyun's taste, he was impatient to get in the cooler café. When he was in front on the glass doors, berofe walking if he noticed a figure of someone that he knew, after few seconds he realized it was Chanyeol, smiling and laughing at the other barista. He was with bright orange hair and a big smile on his face too. It seemed that they enjoyed the talk, that they were having, Baekhyun frowned and something in his chest clenched, he knew that feel way too well, he was jealous.

Baekhyun turned around, he wanted to leave _'So you're giving up, just like always?'_ He thought to himself, standing there _'You don't have a job, you don't have him, you have nothing, why are you even alive?'_  Baekhyun shook his head, turning around towards the café again, taking a doop breath.

"I'm that not weak anymore" He said to himself and without a second thought he walked in, determined to ignore Chanyeol like he wasn't even there at all and prove to himself, that he can live a normal life, despite everything.

"Hello, how can I help you?" The orange haired guy said with a little, but polite smile to Baekhyun. It had nothing similar to the smile he was showing to Chanyeol few minutes ago and that bugged Baekhyun to his every last nerve.

He stepped next to Chanyeol, very careful not to touch him. After a second he could feel the taller's stare already on him, Baekhyun licked his lips trying to concentrate on the rerason he was there in thefirst place and not letting his heart and feelings distract him.

"Yes, I'm actually here to apply for a job, if you're still looking for someone" Baekhyun faked a smile, still not looking at Chanyeol, who was so close. Baekhyun could swear that their arms brushed for a second, but he started thinking how the boy's hair remined him of oranges and from that, where oranges grew and just stopped his mind drom exploding and overloading with thoughts of Chanyeol being close to him, just like that hallucination he had in the hotel a week ago.

"Oh, you're Chanyeol's friends?" The boy asked surprised, because they didn't really seem like friends at the moment. Baekhyun cleared his throat, beause Chanyeol was still staring him from above, Baekhyun nodded slowly, the boy laughed in reply.

"Of course that there is still a place for Chnayeol's friend, his friends are my friends too! Please let me introduce myself, I'm Oh Sehun, the owner's son and your colleague barista" He giggled as he glanced at Chanyeol and back at Baekhyun.

"You must be Baekhyun then?" He reached his hand for a shake, Naekhyun didn't take long to shake it back nodding.

"Yes, I'm Byun Baekhyun" The boy was smiling at him, but Baekhyun's face didn't move. He had this cold facade that was keeping everything inside at bay.

"It's really nice to meet you, Chanyeol here said that you have some awesome skills for someone who never worked at a café" Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol with the edges of his eyes, still not turning to him, he nodding at Sehun.

"Yes I read a thing or two, but I still have alot to learn, ifi want to work here" Chanyeol was standing there without a word, making Baekhyun feel nervous, well nervous-er if that was even possible and Baekhyun was going crazy, because he wasn't saying anything to him.

"Okay then" Sehun claped his hands.

"Let's see what you got" He smiled at Baekhyun brightly now.

"Chanyeolli here, will be your first client"

 

 _'Chanyeollie? C_ _hanyeollie?!?'_

A voice screamed in Baekhyun's mind, he his teeth and lowly sighed, trying to relax. Now moving behind the counter, where Sehun invited him, his hands were shaking andhe wasn't surewhat exactly was the reason for it, there were way too many.

"Don't forget, being polite to clients is very important, so as eyes contact and smiles. If you make the customer feel wanted, he will come again and again. Feeling loved and worth the time is the key, instead of thinking about the coffee, they will be here every morning because the service is nicer than anywhere else, not the actual coffee" Sehun explained.

 _"Feelig loved and worth it is the key"_  Those words echoed in baekhyun's mind. _'Like i don't know howimportant that is'_   He thought, rubbing his hands together preparing himself mentally to look at Chanyeol and smile without having a panic attack. He just had to show his actual feelings towardshim and that could really break him, it was a dangerous risk that he had to take.

Baekhyin took a deep breathe, standind straigh now, chest pushed up, head high and pulling the brigtest smile, that he was ever capable of showed on his face, looking straight into Chanyeol's eyes.

Letting all of his feeling spill all over the place, Baekhyun saw that Chanyeol's stare changed for a second, to something that he would discribe as "stunned" _'Was that even possible?'_  Baekhyun thought to himself, but it quickly changed back to normal. Baekhyun had no idea how he was looking at Chanyeol right now but he had to do his best, he needed this job, even if it costs his mentality.

"What would you like sir?" Baekhyun said politely, trying not to sound like there were hearts and rainbows pouring out of his mouth. _'Why did my test had to be on him, it's not like this wasn't hard enough'_   Baekhyun's mind was filled with million thoughts, it was a total mess.

Chanyeol giggled at him, smiling with his shining teeth, making Baekhyun's heart started beating faster, he wanted to see that smile for so long. He longed for it, Chnayeol's eyes to be looking in his.

Chanyeol ran his hand through his hair, making Baekhyun feel intimidated from the sexuallity that was spiling around Chanyeol, it looked like a scene from some sexy TV commercial _'No wonder that the orange head there was so smily around him, they probably have a thing, you're too late'_  Baekhyun's smile didn't change at all from those thoughts, he patiently wasted for the order.

Chanyeol leaned on the counter with his elbow close to Baekhyun _very close_ , but he didn't move an inch. Baekhyun felt like Chanyeol was staring into his soul, swallowing thickly and trying to keep his breath even, while lookingback at Chanyeol, who chuckled and whispered.

"You know exactly how I love it" Chanyeol was smiling playfully at him and Baekhyun knew what he was trying to do. Be all cute and teasing until Baekhyun gets back to normal with him and share what was wrong, he had done that before, when Baekhyun was having a hard time and it worked _'Just Once. Okay maybe twice..'_  He wanted to facepalm himself, but he couldn't really do that. This time Baekhyun wasn't doing to let it work, because his problem was Chanyeol himself and nothing could be fixed as long as they kept seeing each other.

"Ooh" Sehun was interested in the chemistry, more likely tension between the two of them. He was looking at them with curious eyes, Baekhyun didn't react neither at Chanyeol's provocation or Sehun's curiosity, he just started preparing the coffee he knew that Chanyeol wanted, the ones with Oreos, his favorite one.

Baekhyun was sure that were lacking Oreos in the café, but he never leaves his apartment without cookies. When it was time to dip them in, Baekhyun took out one package from his backpack and as he did his own recipe, Sehun gasped.

"What are you doing?" Chanyeol laughed, but didn't move his eyes from Baekhyun, because that was the first time he saw him make his most favorite coffee, he always wanted to know what was the magic behind it.

When Baekhyun was done Chanyeol was like an impatient child and grabbed the cup out of his hand, touching him carelessly, making Baekhyun feel chills down his spine.

"Here you go sir" He tried to say without sounding too dizzy, just howhe felt at that moment. Chanyeol was already drinking it, moaning and talking with full mouth.

"Man, you really need to try one of those" Chanyeol showed the cup to Sehun, who laughed as a response.

"You're just an Oreo freak, I hate them" Still giggleging, walking to Baekhyun patting him on the shoulder.

"Good job. Well I guess we will see each other tomorrow morning, we open at 7AM and close at 4PM, if that work time is okay for you, we start from tomorrow" Baekhyun only nodded, still trying to keep smiling.

"See you tomorrow, then" Baekhyun said to Sehun, walking passed Chanyeol and out of the coffee, hearing that he had followed him and he felt like his hard times were just beggining, because Chanyeol was going to come to the café every single day, since he knew Sehun and probably dated him.

Baekhyun was in the worst situation he could imagine, but he didn't really had a choice.

"Hey Baek!" Chnayeol yelled at him from behind, but Baekhyun didn't turn around, he how felt Chanyeol ran to get next to him, now walking beside him, quiet.

"Baekhyun?" He tired again, but Baekhyun kept walking toward the building and not minding whatever he was doing. He didn't try talking to him again, they were just walking and Baekhyun was getting annoyed from his heartbeat, it was too wild and noisy in his ears.

Only the thought of the taller one walking beside him was driving him crazy, he could just reach for his hand and finally feel his touch, but that wasn't an opetion. Baekhyun sighed as they walked into the building, he didn't know what Chanyeol was going to try now, but for sure he wasn't going to leave things like that.

"Baekhyun stop" Chanyeol said, this tim emore seriously and there was no melody in his voice. Baekhyun shook his head more to myself to remind, that if he stopped now, things wouldn't go well.

He headed for the stairs, but then he felt a large hand grabbing his wrist and with unhuman strength Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun inside the elevator.

"What are you..." Baekhyun wanted to say something and try to get away, but was cut off.

"No Baekhyun, what are _You_ doing? Have I done something wrong for you to act like this, if it's because of that day when I didn't come. In the morning I thought you would need more rest and I didn't want to bother you. Then in the evening I had a late night council at the school. I wanted to call you and to tell you to eat and sleep, because I won't make it, but I didn't have your phone number, I'm sorry Baek" Chnayeol explained himself, Baekhyun saw the hope in his eyes, that those were the wrong things that he had done and that Baekhyun would forgive him and everything would go back to normal, but none of those were the reasons why. His heart was hurting from what he was planning to tell Chanyeol, especially aftear hearing how much he actually cared for Baekhyun, but it was for the best, he had Sehun anyway, Chanyeol didn't need him.

"Yeah you did something wrong, you are wrong. All of you" Baekhyun tried to sound as cold and heartless as he could, even though he felt tears filling his eyes.

"You just had to be perfect and flawless, making people around you feel useless and worthless, you're good at everything and I'm good at nothing and that can't be changed. This is why I don't want to be around you anymore, because I feel like less of a person when I see you" Baekhyun saw how dark Chanyeol's eyes turned after hearing all those things, that Baekhyun didn't mean at all, it was literally the other way around. Chanyeol was completing him, making him feel like he was worth it and that he could do things that he was too scared to do before, Chanyeol was giving him streigth to change and be better, but he had to do this for the good of them both.

"I don't want to be friends with you anymore, Chanyeol" Baekhyun's words came out cold and emotionless, he was surprised that he didn't give away nothing of what he was feeling inside, a storm tearing him from withing, screaming that it was all wrong, but Baekhyun knew better, than to be hurt again because of his stupidity.

"Okay.." Chanyeol had said, moving away from the door and letting Baekhyun go to his apartment. That's when Baekhyun realized that this was probably the end, because he had hurt Chanyeol alot and no matter how cheerful he usualy was, this really got to him, but that was what Baekhyun wanted. Chanyeol to stay away and Baekhyun to live a life without any pain in it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

On the next day, Baekhyun went to work starting off without a problem and smiling at every customer. No matter that his heart was hurting, he convinced himself that it was best for both of them, that Baekhyun would get over him and that Chanyeol was better off without him, who would want a messed up worthless person like him. That's how he kept smiling and working, when Sehun decided to pour salt in a wound that he wasn't awear of.

"What is  between you and Chanyeol anyway?" Baekhyun's heart skipped a beat, but pretended like he didn't understand.

"What do you mean?" Sehun scoffed.

"Don't play dumb, yesterday you acted like the total jealous school girl like you had a break up and then flirted with him, with those puppy eyes and today Chanyeol shows up for his morning coffee before opening time, because he said he didn't want to come later. I assume It's because of you, he looked like someone stole his Oreos comapred to all the other mornings when he came by cheerful, always talking about you the Cookie Monster" This information was too much for Baekhyun _'He was always talking about me?'_   Baekhyun stared into a dot, trying to process what Sehun had told him

"If I didn't know Chanyeol better I would've said that he was flirting with you too yesterday and that he was in love, but nah" Sehun laughed, not knowing what was happening to Baekhyun, which was a pre-panic attack _'Did he like me?'_   The thought came rushing inside his mind _'And i fucked it all up'_  Baekhyun gasped, trying to catch a breath, Sehun continued, without noticing anything.

"But the thing I don't understand is why you were like that, since there is nothing between you two" Baekhyun shook his head, trying to get himself together.

"It's personal" Baekhyun only managed to reply, colder than he intended to and Sehun understoon, that this subject was not to be spoken of again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Almost a week had passed since Baekhyun started working at the café and not even once Chanyeol came there, he knew that he was going earlier in the morning, bafore Baekhyun arrived and hurried to leave right away, but it was all okay.

Baekhyun was trying to ignore his inner voice, telling him to go find Chanyeol and apologize, confess that he did the biggest mistake in his life, because he was too fucked up and that he loved him, but everytime that urge came he just kept himself busy with something else.

When he was seeing Chanyeol in the bathroom just staring at him, he always told him to go away and just like that he dissapeared, it was all for the greater good, Baekhyun was telling himself.

 

Baekhyun was aboutto leave for the day and go hometo get some rest, when Chanyeol rushed in the café, sweaty and worried, trying to catch a breathe. Baekhyun got worried the moment he saw him in that state, he wanted to ask what was going on, but he wasn't sure if that was a good idea.

"Sehun-ah!" Chanyeol yelled without looking at Baekhyun. When Sehun came out from the stockroom surprised to see Chanyeol there at that time of the day.

"What is it, are you okay?" Sehun went to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, which made Baekhyun's stomatch turn upside down, but that shouldn't be happening. Chanyeol was noone to Baekhyun now.

"No, Koko....He ran away from me and I couldn't catch him, I hoped that he was here" Sehun sadly shook his head. 

"I'm sorry, he is not here" Chanyeol sighed, almost about to cry, covering his face with his hands.

"Fuck, where are you.." He was breathing heavely, Baekhyun looked down at his feet, slowly walking to Chanyeol. Sehun looked at him with a questioning face. 

"I might know where he is.." Baekhyun said quietly, it was even barely heard, butChanyeol's eyes lit up with hope and excitemet, looking right into Baekhyun's eyes.

"Where?!" Baekhyun swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Follow me" Without a thought Chanyeol walked after him. They didn't talk on the way to heir building, Baekhyun only hoped that Koko was there, because Chanyeol seemed devastated without that fur ball, _'Maybe it had something to do with losing his friend'_   He thought, but pushed it away is quickly as it came.

They walked to the parking lot and there was a little alley between the two building, Baekhyun walked over there looking for the cardboard house, that the dog had.

"He used to life here" Chanyeol ran towards the space.

"Koko boy, are you here?" He said and the dog showed his face out from the box.

"Heeeeyy!" Chanyeol hurried to him, kneeling down to him.

"What are you doing here boy?" He patted it on the head.

"Let's go home" But Koko didn't want to do that, so he went back inside.

"Koko?" Chanyeol asked again, still kneeling in front of him, but the dog didn't do anything.

"Let me try something" Baekhyun said moving next to Chanyeol, squatting down.

"Hey boy, Baekhyun is here, remember me?" When Koko heard his voice, he rushed out almost pushing Baekhyun on the ground. He was all over him, licking his face and hands, whatever he could. Baekhyun laughed for the first time since everything happened.

"Yes Koko, I missed you too, but listen to me"Hhe said taking the dog's face into his hands, looking into his eyes.

"Listen buddy, Chanyeol was really worried about you and he want's you to got back home, do you understand. I know I haven't been around lately and I'm sorry, but Chanyeol is your owner and you can't do that to him, he loves you, do you understand?" The dog barked as if he could really understand.

"Whenever I can I will come and see, you okay? Just don't upset Chanyeol, alright Koko? Don't do that to him again." Baekhyun talked to the dog, while visualizing himself in it and then he hugegd Koko, staying like that for awhile.

"I really missed you" He said into his fluffy fur, that's when another realizetion hit him like a train. What if one day Chanyeol was gone just like Koko, but couldnt be fount. What would baekhyun do then, because until now he knew exactly where Chanyeol was and if he wanted, he could find him and what if he disappeared and Baekhyun had never told him the truth.

He would just die from the guilt, eating him alive, that Chanyeol belived that he hated him, but that was so not true. Baekhyun sighed into Koko's fur, standind up now, handing his leash to Chanyeol, looking at him trying to make eye contact, but Chanyeol was looking down at Koko, avoiding him on purpose.

He took the leash, but Baekhyun didn't let go, making Chanyeol look at him.

"Chanyeol about the other day..." He started, he had to explain, he needed to. Baekhyun knew that it was now or never, because one day he could lose him forever and never find him again, no matter how scary it was, nomatter how hurt he could get if things were to fall apart, they were already apart anyway and he was hurting more than before and Chanyeolwas hurt too which was never his intention, he had to get over his fear and speak up.

"It's okay" Chanyeol cut off, coldly pulling the leash hadrer and out of Baekhyun's grasp.

"Thank you" He mumbled and turned around to walk away, Baekhyun didn't want to look how he was walking away, not like this, broken and not wanting to look at him.

"Chanyeol!" He yelled after him, grabbing his shoulder so that Chanyeol would turn around.

"Please let me explain" Chanyeol looked at him, there was disappointment mixed with pain in his eyes.

"What is there to explain, you made it clear already, I don't need to hear it,a second time. I'm sorry that you had to deal with me my dog." Baekhyun could hear how broken Chanyeol felt from the way he talked and howhis voice sounded.

"Just, please let me talk.." Chanyeol stood there, giving Baekhyun time to speak, crossing his arms across his chest, taking a deep breathe staring at him now. Baekhyun's heart was beating so fast that he thought he was going to have a heart attack, but it as now or never, so he said it all in one breathe.

"I like you Chanyeol, like really reallly like you. This was the dumest thing I have ever done in my life, pushing you away like that, just because I'm too much of a fuck up to life as a decent person without screwing everything up around me. I was too scared. that things would end bad for me and I was selfish for not thinking about you, but I was so scared when I felt something towards you, that I just freaked out and ran away, I ran as far as I could but it black fired at me. I fuck you up too and I'm sorry Chanyeol I really am." Baekhyun was looking down at his feet while talking and he was scared to look up but he had to.

Baekhyun slowly raised his head and he could see all kinds of emotions mixed on Chanyeol's face, confusion, surprise, amusement, releaf because he finally understood why Baekhyun was acting like that. His eyes were solf again, those eyes that Baekhyun would dream about were back, but then after another second, distressed spilled all over Chanyeol's face as he gasped.

Baekhyun didn't know what to say or do, because maybe Chanyeol needed time to process everything, Baekhyun expected everything, but he didn't expect the answer he got.

"Baek...I'm straight..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was way too angsty I'm T_T  
> And I apologize for making Taeyeon a pshicho


	4. Not So Official Date

"You're such a dumb fuck Byun Baekhyun" He his forehead with a fist.

"How could you tell a straight guy that you were into him, how didn't you notice that" Baekhyun was sitting on the couch, leaning on his thighs, remebering the way Chanyeol was looking at him when Baekhyun had confessed and realized what was happening.

Baekhyun was too surprised by what Chanyeol had said so he had asked with unbelieving face him without realizing how awkward the whole situatuion was _"What?"_   And Chanyeol had replied to him _"I don't go out with guys..."_   Lookingdown and feeling uncomfortable, because he probably misslead Baekhyun.

Without thinking Baekhyun had qontinued asking another question _"Then what about Sehun?"_  And Chanyeol had scoffed at him _"He is a friend from my childhood, he is my best friend"_ Then Baekhyun realized what had happened and ran away without looking back, embarrassed. Leaving Chanyeol at the parking lot with a confession from a gay.

"Fuck.." Baekhyun hit his head again, tears filling his eyes, fear raising in his body.

"He might even be homophobic..." Baekhyun's throat started closing up, he couldnt breathe.

"What have I done" He stood up and started walking around his small apartment nervously, holding his head, rubbing his face, ruffling his hear, losing his mind.

"AAAH! What am I gonna do!" He yelled, kicking one of the chairs in the kitchen.

"I fell in love with a homophobic person" Baekhyn believed it from the moment it crossed his mind.

"I'm so fucked now, I don't have any money I can't go anywhere and I will have to see his face everyday and now it's all too fucked up, worse than it was before, why did I had to say it to him" Baekhyun was talking out loud, kneeling on the floor. He was desperate and outof options, that's when the idea came to him.

"Of course! I will go back to my own apartment and find another job" Baekhyun stood up clapping his hands excited.

"I will call Jongdae for some help until I get on my feet" Baekhyun went to get his phone and dialed his best friend, after a few signals Jongdae picked up.

"Baekhyun-ah! It's been so long man, how are you?" Baekhyun smiled at his friend's cheerful voice, hemissed him more than he thought.

"Hey Dae, look I know I have beem MIA for like one year, but I'm a situation here and I will ned some help" There was silence from the other side of the line. Yhe last time Baekhyun had called him and said that things were bad to Jongdae was when Taeyeon attacked him, looking for help and Jongdae ended up stiching him up, because he was on a night shift. Baekhyun remember that and hurried to calm Jongdae down.

"I'm fine, I'm fine don't worry, I'm not hurt or anything, I just..." Baekhyun bit his tumb, not knowing how to explain this whole thing, because it was way too complicated.

"What happened Baek?" Jongdae waited for an explanation.

"I...I fell in love with the wrong person...Again" Baekhyun heared a loud sigh from the other side, leaning his elbows on the table annd his head in his palms.

"How bad is it?" Jongdae asked and Baekhyun scoffed, thinking about having the hallucinations.

"Pretty bad... If we have to rate it from 0/10 I'm like 11 into him, head over heels Dae, as usual...It's bad" Joongdae sounded surprised.

"Him?" Baekhyun gasped, rubbing his forehead.

"Yeah...It's guy" Jongdae just said, sighing again, trying to fix things.

"Oh boy... Okay just tell me everything from the beggining and we will think of something"

 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

When Baekhyun was done telling every single detail about what had happened between him and Chanyeol and a few things about himself before that. Jongdae just started laughing uncontrollably in the end.

"Why are you laughing Dae?" Baekhyun frowned at his phone, Jongdae contined chuckling while talking.

"You have no idea if he is actually homophobic, you just freaked out, like you usualy do when things don't go the way you expected" He started laughing again.

"You thought that he was going to hurt you, just because you're gay, well you're not gay andhe knows it. Just because he is straight you thought he will attack you, but you don't know anything for sure, from what you've told me" He stopped laughing, talking serious now.

"You know, you dont have to be this fearful, I mean you almost flew out to China just to escape from him. I think it will be best if you first talk with him and see how he will react and if he is actually a threat to you or if he is fine with your sexuality and still wants to be friends with you" Baekhyun whined, laying on the table desperate.

"I don't want to be just friends with him Dae" Jongdae sighed, trying to explain carefully without hurting Baekhyun.

"You know, he might be open minded and accept you as bisexual, but miracles like that don't happen, if he is straight that means he _IS_ straight don't get your hopes up for nothing. Aside from that, for me the best decision is to talk to him and if you feel uncomfortable there, you're always welcome to come and live with me. Even I will come and get you, if you want me to, just call me in the next 24 hours or else I will think, that he actually did something to you. Which a highly doubt, because the guy has a cotton candy for a heart and it's a sweet ball from what you've told me, he cant hurt a fly" Baekhyun smiled at what Jongdae said about him.

"Thank you Jongdae, you're the best" He said, smiling at how goodhis friend was, no matter hos much time passed he was next to him after all.

"No worries, just don't freak out whatever happens, be a man and talk to him. If anything is wrong just call me and I will be there, okay?" Baekhyun nodded and agreed to Jongdae's plan, thanking him once again and then hanging up.

Baekhyun started thinking over the possibilities of what could happen and the worst thing was, Baekhyun ending up dead and the best was just to stay friends, neither was good for him, unfortunately.

He was thinking that since Chanyeol was straight and forgetting the possibility of being homophobic, that meant that he was probably overwhelmed, because of his confession. Normal people usualy got overwhelmed and he couldn't imagine what chanyeol was going through.

Baekhyun sighed, thinking that it was best if he prepared his bags just in case if thing ended up in the worst scenario and while he was packing he kept thinking where was best to have the talk. Maybe it was best to be somewhere crowded, so if Chanyeol wanted to hurt him, he would not do it in public and if he was crazy and flips, then someone would save Baekhyun, so he mentally agreed to be somewhere with lots of people.

Baekhyun lost track of time with his packing and when he looked at the the clock it was already passed 1AM. Baekhyun wasn't hunry at all, but he had to eat atleast one or two cookies to keep him from passing out.

When he went to the kitchen, taking out his favorite chocolate with chocolate dipped in chocolate cookies andwas about to bite off one, someone knocked on the door. Baekhyun went to open carelessly which was stupid for him to do, when he saw Chanyeol's standing there. Baekhyun slammed the door right back, locking it. He thought that Chanyeol came to kill him, there was a loud knock again.

"Kaek, open up please!" Baekhyun's heart was beating faster and faster, because of his yelling. Thinking what could he do, maybe call Jongdae or the police, maybe he should take a knife from the kitchen.

"Baek, I just want to talk, please open up" Chanyeol knocked and yelled again from the other side of the door, Baekhyun sighed thinking that getting a knife wasn't such a bad bad. The stabbed one was about to stab someone else, the irony was excruciating, Baekhyun hid his face into his hands and then asked yelling, without opening.

"Do you have a knife?" There was a silnce for a moment and then Baekhyun heard a confused answer.

"Why would I have a knife?" Baekhyun scoffed and facepalmed himself, he was freaking out again without a reason, he unlocked the door and slowly opened it, showing one eye out, looking at Chanyeol from head to toe, if he was any kind of threat to him.

"Can I come in?" he asked with his hands in the air, showing that he wasn't holding anything.

"Are you homophobic and here to kill me?" Baekhyun asked that without realizing how silly it sounded and howstupid he looked, but he had his reasons and fears anyway, so he didn't care at all, Chanyeol scoffed.

"Of course not, neitehr of them, I just wanted to talk, please let me in" Baekhyun needed few more seconds to convince himself, that it was okay. He opened the door wide letting him in, not that Chanyeol couldn't get in if he wanted to, but Baekhyun didn't think about that now. He slowly moved away keeping his distance from Chanyeol, looking at him waiting for any sudden moves. Baekhyun walked closer to the kitchen and to thecounter, closerto the knives, he left safer there. Chanyeol just sat on one of the chairs, eyes on Baekhyun, studying his distressed pose.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, I just need some answers" Baekhyun shook his head, still feeling scared of him.

"I'll stay here, I feel safer" He was honest and didn't hide that he was expecting to be attacked, Chanyeol's eyes were sparkling unbelieving and serious.

"I'm not crazy like your ex, I would never..." Chanyoel sighed leaning his head down af ifsomething was heavy on his shoulders, because he didn't know how to finish that sentence so he said instead.

"Look, I have some questions and I need answers, would you mind giving them to me?" Baekhyun nodded.

"Ask" Still on one hand length away fom the kitchen knives, Chanyeol sighed burrying his face into his hands.

"You said you liked me, right?" Baekhyun nodded.

"Yes" Chanyeol was looking at him, trying ti figure him out. Baekhyun was feelingv ulnerable under that gaze, it madehim feel like Chnayeol could read him like an open book. He tried to stay concentrated and react fast if something were to happened.

"So, that means you don't hate me?" Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, confused.

"No, of course I don't, why would I?" Chanyeol continued asking, tryingto gather his thoughts.

"So, what you said in the elevator..." He didn't know how to form that question it just died in the air.

"All of that was a lie to push you away, because I didn't know how to deal with all of this" Baekhyun decided to answer, because he knew exactly what Chanyeol wanted to ask, he only nodded.

"Because you don't want to get hurt again? Neither physical or psychical." Baekhyun nodded, because Chanyeol was already seeing through him.

"You're still no tover what happened with her" Chanyeol observed, it wasn't a question, but Baekhyun replied.

"Yes" Chnayeol only nodded, thinking over whatever was in his mind.

"Okay... Then tell me how you really feel" Baekhyun was surprised by that almost feeling howhis mouth would open.

"What?" He asked unbelieving.

"I want to know what you actually feel, don't lie or hold back, just tell me everything" Chanyeol was serious, looking at Baekhyun.

"Are you kidding me?" Baekhyun asked moving closer now, without realizing his fear was gone and replaced by utter confusion.

"Do I looke like I'm kidding?" Chnayeol was looking at him straight in the eyes, still sitting. Baekhyun sighed.

"Okay, but don't freak out or move or whatever" Baekhyun said, as he came even closer, sitting down acress Chanyeol now.

"It feels like... Like you have been suffocation all the time, but you never really noticed it until you breathed in the fresh air, realizing how suffocating it was until that day and you are breathing freely now. There's nothing heavy on your chest. Nothing pulling you down to the darkness, that you were stuck in for so long. There's nothing that can make you scared, you even you feel safe and strong like you can do anything and everything. It's like you're reborn a completely new person" Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, because he was looking at his hands the whole time, while he was talking.

"You make me feel like that, like I can change and get out of the darkness, you make me want to move forward and try the things that were scareing me before. You just fix me, by simply being you and all my broken pieces glew together little by little, while you're around. You give me smiles, me smile too, I feel happy and relieved from everything that was haunting me when I'm with you" Baekhyun stopped talking, because he saw that he just overwhelmed Chanyeol with all of this. He was staring at him with his lips separated trying to cope with everyhting that baekhyun had said.  

"Should I go get the knife?" Baekhyun tried to joke, because he saw that Chanyeol was not okay. He came to and scoffed.

"Don't joke abut that... So you're pretty much into me?" Baekhyun nodded, sallowing thickly.

"Mhm" He didn't want to tell him about the 1/10 scale that he was actually 11.

"And you realized that the day after I didn't come for dinner?" Baekhyun nodded at his question, he wasn't going into any details because he didn't want to stress the poor guy further.

"And you ran away just like that, because you were scared and then you got jealous from Sehun the other day, didn'tyou?" A shadowof a smile come back to his face, Baekhyun giggled, because the atmosphere was changing, getting lighter and not so serious.

"Well you were laughing and playing around, I just thought that..."Chanyeol laughed for a moment, then turning all serious again.

"What were you planning to do now, after you know I'm not into guys?" Chanyeol asked, whie looking into Baekhyun eyes, who felt like he was caught on the crime scene, scratching his neck, Baekhyun admitted.

"Well, if you were a crazy killer I was going to leave, actually I was going to leave without even talking with you, but my friend Jongdae convinced me that you're not so scary and that I should talk to you first and then run if it's that bad" Chanyeol scoffed, running his finger through his hair.

"Running again? Is it, that scary to experience something that you haven't before?" He asked Baekhyun who was confused by the question, but answered.

"Well for normal people, I guess it's not but for me it is. I have PTSD and trust issues and tons of other messed up shit, that I deal with everyday, so yes It's pretty scary to me"

"It is scary for me too, for the first time in my life I'm scared of doing something" Chanyeol said, looking away from baekhyun, who raised an eyesbrow.

"What do you mean?" Chanyeol sighed, rubbing his face with both hands.

"This, I'm scared of this, I..." He stopped, because he was searching for the right words to explain.

"I've alwayys thought that I was straight and that I liked girls, but after what happened here... The last week and a half I just went crazy, first I was worried about you, why were you acting like that, when everything was going fine between us, then you just told me that I was making you feel miserable and I felt like it was all my falut that you're like that all the time... Then I had to spend one whole week without seeing or talking with you, which was like going through hell and back and then you confessed to me and my mind was a total mess, but things kind of made sense, why I was feeling like that when everything happened..." Chanyeol stopped looking at Baekhyun now, who was lost into Chanyeol's words trying to take everything in and try to figure out what he meant.

"I really don't know what this is, I don't know what it's like to love someone the way you do, but I know that I don't want to stay away from you. I want to see you, talk with you and laugh at stupid things. I worry if you had dinner or did you get enough sleep, or did you eat your daily propotion of cookies, just to keep you happy enough. I don't want to worry aboyt those things, I want to witness them with my eyes and remind you to do those things if you forget, maybe this is something, maybe it's nothing.. I can't tell you, because I dont know, I can't promise you anything, because I'm not even sure in myself.. I can't promise you, that I won't hurt you or misslead you, it's like 50/50 Baek...I..." Chanyeol got flustered, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry" He said, that's when Baekhyun walked to him finally, placing a hand on his sholder.

"You don't have to apologize, I made this mess and if someone has to apologize that is me, I made you a mess too, same as me" Chanyeol looked at him, with teary eyes.

"I just don't want to hurt you more than you already are, but I can't promise you that and it kills me, because I'm not sure in anything right now. I just know that I don't want to stay away from you and I know that you want full commitment and I just..." Chanyeol was getting lost in his words, because he wanted to explaind everything, but it was such a mess, they both werre a mess right now, a beautiful mess.

that's when Baekhyun let go of all of his fears and slowly wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's shoulders, giving him the opportunity to move or push him away, but he didn't do that, so Baekhyun just hugged him tightly, leaning on him from above.

Maybe this was enough for him. Maybe that was the best he was going to get anyway, his life was always a fucked up story, so this 'maybe' that Chanyeol was offering might actually be something, he could hold on to and try. Just maybe things could work out.

Baekhyun took a deep breath, breathing Chanyeol in, his scent was making him feel calm. He relaxed his head on Chanyeol's, closing his eyes. It was time to let go of his past and jump into the fire again, he was finally to move on.

"I'm okay with maybe"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The first two days were awkward for both of thm, because they didn't know how to act around each other, what was okay and what not. since it was supposed to be somekind of realtionship.

Firstly they started out with fixing their routines, as they were before. Mornig walks with Koko and home made coffee, then they walked together to the school, Baekhyun sending Chanyeol off to work and then walk to the café to start off his day.

Sehun already knew about everything and what was going on, so he joked all the time, how Baekhyun managed to make Chanyeol gay, but Baekhyun never really talked about that because it was something delicate, it was a Maybe.

He had called Jongdae and told him everyhting and to worry about him, that for now thing were okay. Jongdae was surprised by the turn of events, because he was the one saying that nothing like that can happen, but it actually had happened. He was happy for Baekhyun, because he knew how hard it was for him and he believed that Baekhyun, finally deserved some happiness.

After work Baekyun was going for groceries and when it was time for Chanyeol to come home, Baekhyun was waiting for him in front of the school, to walk back together. When they get back Chanyeol cooked and they had dinner together as usual.

The first few days they didn't have any physical contact, it was still too wierd. Baekhyun remembered, that warm hug that he gave to Chnayeol when they were trying to figure out what to do, but that was all, he didn't push it. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

After the 3rd day, they were out with Koko early in the morning at the park, there was a couple walking their dog too, holding hands and smiling at each other. Baekhyun was looking at them for a moment and then moving his eyes away, beause he didn't want them to think that he was staring.

He felt somthing warm wrapping around his hand, he looked down and saw that Chanyeol's was wrapping their finger together. Baekhyun looked at him questioning, if he was sure about this and Chanyeol just smiled at him warmly.

They started walking around, holding hands and from time to time when Baekhyun's smile faded away, Chanyeol would placed a kiss on the back of his hand. After those things Baekhyun started feeling more comfortable, taking his hand whenever he wanted to not waiting for him to do it instead.

Sometime Baekhyun would just wrap his arms aroung Chanyeol's arm and cuddle there, walking together.

Days passed and they were getting closer and closer, hugging and kissing each other's cheeks or hands, whenever they felt like it.

Their first kiss was the most awkward one in the history of kisses, but it was enjoyed by both of them.

They were sitting on their usual bench at the park, Baekhyun was leaning his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, just enjoying the day, when he looked up at Chanyeol and just felt the urge to kiss him, because of the way the sun was lighting his face. Baekhyun thought that he was inhumanly beautiful, he wanted to feel his lips, he might've crossed the line, but Baekhyun just couldn't help himself, whispering.

"I want to kiss you" Chanyeol looked down at him, lips slightly parted, he didn't say anything just slightly licked them, making Baekhyun even more impatient to wait for the perfect moment.

Chanyeol leaned a bit, still looking in Baekhyun's eyes,they were sparckling with something that Baekhyun couldn't really read, maybe he was impatient too. Baekhyun pushed himself up a bit so he could reach Chanyeol's lips, when they touched Baekhyun felt butterflies in his stomach, goosebupms over his skin and chill all over his body.

Baekhyun moved his lips to take Chanyeol's lower lip, but Chanyeol did the same, making their teeth hit for a moment. Baekhyun giggled, sitting up now, his lips still on Chanyeoln's, wrapping one arm around his neck, pulling him closer. Baekhyun took the lead because he knew that it would be a total mess if noone did that, with his other hand he found Chanyeol's, wrapped their finger together.

Wiith his togue Baekhyun teased Chanyeol, trying to part his lips and make the kiss deeper, but he didn't let him pulling away just an inch, whining.

"Hey, that's not fair. First kisse are supposed to be sweet and cute, not dominant and demanding" Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun again the way he wanted to, but he was giggling now and it wasn't really a kiss anymore, but both of them had fun while, Koko was running around them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

10 days after they agreed to try it out and see where it was going to take them, they were already getting the hang of it, well Chanyeol was, Baekhyun was just waiting for him to be comfortable with whatever.

They were kissing and holding hands where ever they wanted, noone felt uncomfortable anymore from the surroundings or anyhing else, they were like a real couple and Baekhyun was happy, very happy that it all managed to get to thi spoint.

He was always too careful with Chanyeol not to push him about anything, because he could easely say 'I don't like this' and break eveythng off, so he got used to the things that Chanyeol did and liked, without letting himself do anything new.

 

It was Sunday, overcast weather, one of Baekhyun's favorite. It wasn't too sunny and it didn't rain, he would've enjoyed going out with Chnayeol and walk in the park, bu he said that he had work so he left in the morning, saying that he will be back around 8PM the usual time.

Baekhyun didn't know what to do, he wanted to go out but what was the point of doing that alone, he frowned and jut sat on the couch pouting, realizing that he haven't ate cookies since he got together with Chanyeol, he was absolutely enough for him to be happy, but right now he wanted to eat cookies.

Before Baekhyun could get his cookies, someone knocked at the door. Lazy Baekhyun walked to it wonder who it was and when he opened it, Chanyeol was standing in front of him with a wide smile, just theone Baekhyun was missing, he was dressed with a black suit.

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun thought that he was going to be back tonight. Chanyeol was smiling widely and took Baekhyun's hand, excitement shinning in his eyes.

"Let's go" He pulled him a bit.

"Where?" Baekhyun asked, happy that he was back, but confused.

"I'm not even dressed properly for whatever, you're with a suit" Baekhyun pointed out, Chanyeol pulled him again.

"It doesn't matter, let go" His smile lighting the whole room, making Baekhyun forget about his hunger for cookies and warming his heart.

"Where are we going?" Baekhyun asked again, while Chanyeol was pulling him excitedly towards somewhere.

"You'll see, it's a surpruse" He smiled at him anticipated as well.

They went to the park and there were a lot of people around, kid yelling and playing with balls, people walking their dogs too. Baekhyun walked to their usual bench, but Chanyeol stopped him.

"No, not there" Still smirking at him and pulling Baekhyun between the woods on a small path and away from everybody. Baekhuyn wrapped his fingers firmly around Chanyeol's and moved closer to him.

"Is this where you will take me deep into the woods and kill me without anyone finding out and going to burry me here too?" Baekhyun shivered by that thought, he wondered if Chanyeol thought of bringing a shovel.

Chanyeol stoped pulling him and turned around to take Baekhyun's face in his hands, now close to him, whispering.

"Take you deep in the woods, yes. Kill you, not so much" He kissied him slowly, but impatiently. Baekhyun melted into it, but before hec ould enjoy any of it Chanyeol was already away, looking at him.

"Trust me, let's go" That smile was not going away even for a second, Baekhyun's most favorite smile in the world. 

They walked for awhile going deeper and deeper in the woods. It was getting colder and baekhyun shivered, making Chanyeol looka at him woried.

"I should've let you get dressed" He said frowning to himself, taking his jacketoff and giving it to Baekhyun, kissing his hand as he got dressed. After fewmore meters Baekhyun couldn't hear the people anymore, none of the yelling or chattering and that's when Chanyeol said.

"We are here" Baekhyun looked around and they were at a small clearing from the trees, there was a lot of grass and in the center of it, a blanket was spread with two baskets full of snacks, Baekhyun turned to Chanyeol, smiling brightly now.

"What is this?" Chanyeol raised Baekhyun's hand to his lips and softly kissed it.

"Our first official date, what do you think?" His eyes filled with curiosity, Baekhyun looked at the scene and then back at him.

"So you're not going to kill me?" Baekhyun joked. as they walked to the blanket, sitting down, Chanyeol caressed his cheek.

"No, only spoil you a bit" Kissing him softly and then moving away to look at him, that's when Baekhyun felt like Chanyeol was looking at his most precious thing, something really beautiful, which Baekhyun was not, in his own oppinion, not at all, he was ugly.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Chanyeol asked smirking.

"Why are you with a suit?" Baekhyun asked, Chnayeol looked down and giggled at himself

"Well... Firstly I wanted to take you to some expensive place and order you only the best things, make you feel like a prince, but then I thought that you weren't into that kind of things and that you would probably feel awkward instead of pleased, so I figured out that our first date shouldn't be something chicly and over the top like it was for the papers, it could simply be here" He spread his arms showing the beauty of the place, which Baekhyun loved.

"I know how much you love the scenery, so I just went to the market and got everything, that we needed to have a good time, but decided to keep my suit on, because it still our official... Not so official first date" He grinned at Baekhyun, who was giggling all the time, at how decicated Chanyeol was.

"You look really nice in a suit, I love it" That was the first time Baekhyun had said that he Loved something about Chanyeol and for a moment he stiffened, that maybe it wasn't appropriate to say it, waiting for a bad responce, but instead Chanyeol smiled at him, his eyes sparkling.

"I got all kinds of stuff, sweet and salty, I didn't know for what you would be in mood so I got everything, I even got some strawberries, I know it's a clicé but one can't go without them on a first date" Chanyeol was taking out all of the snacks on the blanket, while nerveously talking about each thing. Why he got it and that it was okay if Baekhyun didn't eat everything.

Baekhyun wondered why wasn't he feeling nervious, as much as Chanyeol. Yes, he was feeling extremely happy and excited, that all of this was happening but not nervious, maybe he got used to him now and being close to him.

He was staring at Chanyeol, not really listening what he was saying, looking at his lips, only thinking how he wanted to kiss him and nothing else, because he had finally found his place where he felt normal, calm and safe. That was in Chanyeol's arms, in Chanyeol's heart, that was his place and he didn't want to leave, ever.

"Oh no..." Chanyeol said, snapping Baekhyun out of his thoughts and back to reality, Chanyeol's face darkend and he became sad.

"Ah fuck no...Not now..How could I forget" Baekhyun raised his eyebrow.

"What is it? What did you forget?" Chanyeol nervously scratched his nape and ruffled his hair mad, hiding his face into his hands.

"I forgot to buy cookies, I'm such an idiot, I'm really sorry Baek, I will run to the store and be back in a bit" Before Chanyeol could even get up, Baekhyun grabbed his hand and pulled him to stay down, Chnayeol looked at him confused, Baekhyun was smiling at him and how childish he was about all of this, he actually liked that Chnayeol cared so much for the most little things.

"It's okay," He whispered moving closer to Chanyeol, just few inches away.

"But that's your most favorite thing ever and I forgot it because i was too excited..." Chanyeol kept blabbering, when Baekhyun put a finger on his lips.

"Shh" smiling at him, removing the finger and looking at his lips now.

"I don't need cookies as long as I have you" Baekhyun pulled Chnayeol closer to him without midning anything else anymore, he didn't care about the cookies or all the food that was laying down, he wanted to kiss him already.

Baekhyun kissed him the way they usualy kissed nothing too much, just the usual sweet kiss _'Not demanding or dominant'_   What Baekhyun didn't expect was, Chanayeol gently laying him down and moving on top of him deepening the kisss, he was getting dominant, finally.

Baekhyun was waiting for this for so long, that it seemed unreal for a moment. Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's neck and moved his lips after Chanyeol's. He pulled away and Baekhyun protested pulling him back for more, because it was way too short. Chanyeol giggled, while Baekhyun's lips were trying to steal another kiss, but h didn't let him.

"First we will eat something sweet, then we can continue with this" He said caressing Baekhyun's face with the back of his hand, sill looking into his eyes, smiling sweetly. Making Baekhyun impatien and he had to admit, that he was a bit nervous now too, because he didn't know what Chanyeol had in store for him and what he was going to try.

"Come here" Chanyeol sat up, pulling Baekhyun in his lap, he didn't expect that too, he needed a moment to realize what was going on. Chanyeol was doing things that Baekhyun wasn't used to yet. One oh his arm stayed around Baekhyun's waist, holdinghim in place and with the other one Chanyeol took out one strawbarry and dipped it in chocolate, Baekhyun was looking at him still not believing and Chanyeol was licking his lips while dipping the strawberry, when looked back at Baekhyun, he said grinning. 

"Open wide" Chanyeol brought the strawberry in front of Baekhyun mouth, he bit off half of it and almost all of the chocolate was over his lips. Chanyeol giggled, as he ate the other half, Baekhyun was trying to lick it off, but there were still places he couldn't reach.

"Let me" Chanyeol said and Baekhyun expected Chanyeol to wipe his mouth with something, but instead he used his tongue, licking the chocolate off. Making Baekhyun's heart pounding in his ears, it felt so nice and intimate. When Chanyeol moved away with the biggest smile on his face.

"You taste so sweet" Grinning at him, Baekhyun was still frozen and a bit dizzy, because oh Chnayeol's action, staring at him, who was giggling at Baekhyun's reaction, chewing the strawberry.

Baekhyun wrapped hisa rms around his neck and kissed him deep and passionate after he gotover the surprise. One hand in Chanyeol's hair, making sure that he won't pull away this time, but he had no intention to this time.

Baekhyun felt that Chanyeol switched their position, again laying him gently on his back, but he didn't want to break the kiss, none of them wanted to do that, not untill they were out of breath.

Chnayeol looked at Baekhyun breathing heavely, gazing into his eyes then his cheek, caressing them gently, moving to his jawline and then with a finger he traced the shape of Baekhyun's lips.

"You're so beautiful" Chanyeol whispered as his kissed him again, making Baekhyun's heart race even more, becaue he remembered the way those words sounded in the hotel and now Chanyeol was actaually saying them to him and he was kissing him, caring for him, loving him, Baekhyun couldn't ask for more in this life, this was completely enough.


	5. I Should Treat You Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far  
> I love you all \^o^/

It's been over 3 weeks since they had their first date and making it official, telling about it to their friends and freely talking about it without a care. All the awkwardness that Chanyeol had towards the whole thing was gone now, he was happy with Baekhyun and Baekhyun was more tan happy with him.

They developed a few new routines in that time. 

When they got home the day after their date, they were both wet from the rain that poured on them while they still were in the woods, but they weren't worried about that at all because while they tried to hide from the rain, under the trees they kept kissing and making out. Something that Baekhyun still didn't expect from Chanyeol.

That night after Chanyeol had cooked dinner and they eat while watching a TV show together, Chanyeol had asked awkwardly if he could spend the night at Baekhyun's apartment. Of course Baekhyun knew that he meant only sleeping and nothing else, because no matter how different Chanyeol was being and trying new things, it was clearly that he wasn't ready for spending the night with him.

Baekhyun had said without thinking _"Of course you can, iI'll sleep on the couch"_  There was nothing more Baekhyun could want from Chanyeol, so that's why he said it. He didn't want to make Chanyeol feel uncomfortable with sharing one bed, but Chanyeol had hugged him from behind while Baekhyun was washing the dishes and said _"Can't we sleep in one bed?"_  Tightly wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's waist and leaning his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder, gently kissing his neck. He did that for the first time, making Baekhyun shiver at the sensation it brought along with the chills all over his body, Baekhyun had gasped _"If you want to"_

When they went to bed, neither Chanyeol or Baekhyun took their shirts off and they both understood eachother without words, they knew that none of them were ready for that. They cuddled under the covers, it was awkward for a few minutes, until Chanyeol got used to feeling of Baekhyun laying on him. His head on Chanyeol's chest and arm around his waist, legs wrapped around his, but when he relaxed eventually. Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun closer burying his face in his hair.

 

Every morning they would wake up eachother with kisses and sweet words. Baekhyun had whispered that he loved him for the first time to Chanyeol and he had turned red, hiding his face in Baekhyuns chest.

Baekhyun kept doing that every morning, saying that he loved him and that he was the best thing that had happened to him. Spending awhile hugging in bed and then getting up and back to their usual daily activities.

Those were the new routines that they picked up with time and Baekhyun couldn't be more happy, his depression and anxiety were long gone. He rarely remembered his ex, only when he was taking a shower and seeing the scar over his chest. There were no more panic attacks either, he was normally communicating with people at work, joking around with Sehun becoming closer and closer. He wasn't a bad guy, not at all. Sehun was actually one of the most funny ones he had ever met in his life, aside from Jongdae. Baekhyun and Sehun were getting along pretty fine.

 

 

Today Baekhyun had decided to introduce Chanyeol to Jongdae and so he wouldn't feel like he was being interrogated, they invited Sehun as well. Going out for pizza and beer at the restaurant close to where they were living. Baekhyun didn't need to convince Jongdae to cross half of Seoul to come, because he was really impatient to meet the one that made Baekhyun go out of his safe bubble and out into the world again, to actually start living a normal life. He couldn't wait and see how Baekhyun managed to turn a straight man into gay just like that and what magic he used on him.

 

When Jongdae arrived, the three of them were already there, waiting for him. Jongdae hugged Baekhyun bacuase he hadn't seen him for over a year, then he looked over to Chanyeol with a surprised face.

"I didn't believe it when Baek said you were that tall" He laughed reaching his hand out for a shake.

"You must be Chanyeol the mysterious homophobic straight not so straight killer neighbor that Baekhyun wouldn't shut up about" He kept laughing but Sehun didn't know about the homophobic part, looking amused at Chanyeol giggling.

"Homophobic?" Sehun asked, Baekhyun looked down embarrassed and shoving Jongdae not to talk to much like he loved to alwas overshare, because he had told him things that weren't for the public to know, Jongdae laughed.

"Sorry" Chanyeol shook his hand smiling widely and bowing his head.

"It's really nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you" He tried to be polite, but it was obvious that he was nervous, because he knew that Jongdae was the closest thing Baekhyun had to family which meant that he had to make a good impression, no matter what.

"Trust me, not as much as I've heard about you" Jongdae kept giggling as Baekhyun facepalmed himself, because he was embarrassing him. Jongdae then looked at Sehun.

"And you, carrot head must be Sehun" Sehun laughed loudly and instead of shaking hands with Jongdae, he threw an arms around Jongdae's neck ruffling his hair.

"I love this guy already!" Sehun giggled, Baekhyun felt less embarrased now because atleast Sehun liked to joke around and no matter how supid or uncomfortable jongdae would make things. Baekhyun was sure that Sehun wouldn't let them stay like that for long and he was glad that they invited him too.

 

When they sat, ordering a lot of eveything it looked like it was some kind of celebration and Chanyeol was paying, which made Sehun eat and drink like he was seeing food for the first time. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were sitring next to each other and Jongdae with Sehun on the opposite side of the table.

"So you're a teacher?" Jongdae asked as he bit off his pizza, Chanyeol smiled answering.

"Yes, a music teacher." Jongdae nodded, because he already knew that but pretened like he didn't.

"You're talanted then?" Jongdae asked, Baekhyun interrupted.

"Jongdaeee!!!" He giggled in reply at Baekhyun's face.

"What? I have to know eveything about him before I give my approval" Baekhyun sighed loudly, shaking his head wanting to throw something at Jongda's face, while Sehun was just enjoying the show and commenting here and there with a joke.

"Don't be rude!" Baekhyun whined.

"It's alright Baek" Chanyeol said, placing a hand on Baekhyun's thigh which made both Jongdae and Sehun say in one voice.

"Get a room!" Laughing together and high fiving, while cheering with beer and drinking. It seemed that Jongdae and Sehun were having fun, but it wasn't the same for Baekhyun who looked at Chanyeol apologetic and he smiled at him slightly, assuring him that eveything was okay, wrapping their fingers together under the table.

"Well I wouldn't brag about it, I'm not that talanted in my opinion. I can play a few instruments" Jongdae nodded at Chanyeol's answer while chewing again. Baekhyun wasn't eating becuase his stomach felt like a ball was stuck in it and Chanyeol probably felt the same way, because of his tight grip on Baekhyun's hand. He thought that maybe Chanyeol took his hand becuase he needed support as well and reassuring too, so Baekhyun stared stroking the back of his hand with his thumb, making Chanyeol ease atfer few seconds.

"So are you into our Baekhyun here?" Jongdae asked directly without any shame making Baekhyun choke on his beer and he felt Chanyeol's palm getting sweaty, while Sehun just giggled. There were few seconds of silence and no answer, that's when Jongdae continued.

"I might joke around and seem like a harmless guy, but if you don't plan to stick around, don't you dare misslead him and hurt him, because I will break your bones" Jongdae's voice was cold and muderious now, he looked deadly serious with eyes as black as the night. Baekhyun felt chills run down his spine and Sehun was just staring unbelievably at Jongdae, Chanyeol didn't looked away from Jongdae, neither he flinched, but he didn't reply again and Jongdae continued.

"I don't like this 'Maybe' thing, if you're gonna be with him, be with him and if you're using him just to entertain yourself until something better comes, you better hit the road before things get serious, because noone would be able to pick the broken pieces that you will leave behind" Baekhyun got up.

"Jongdae, that's enough!" He looked at Baekhyun, who had tears in his eyes, realizing that he had crossed a line there, but he had to anyway. He wouldn't be able to watch Baekhyun break again and he was 100% sure, that there wasn't going to be a way to fix him again. He crossed his arms in front his chest.

"It had to be said Baek, sorry." He looked at Chanyeol again seriously and Chanyeol only nodded at him, showing that he understood what he meant, then Jongdae's eyes suddenly changed and back to normal, cheerful with his smile back of his face, looking at Sehun.

"Let's go get more beer" Sehun agreed and they got up waking away frim their table. Baekhyun was still looking at Jongdae, unbelieving what he had just done, he sat next to Chanyeol trying to explain.

"Look Chanyeol... You don't have to listen to him, of course I wont let him do anything to you, don't feel threatened or whatever" He was blabbering nervously, becauae he was thinking that Jongdae had just fucked everything up by pushing Chanyeol too much, which Baekhyun himself was trying not to do all this time, no matter how much he wanted Chanyeol to love him and know how he really feels about him he never asked or pushed.

"If you don't... Feel like it anymore and just suddenly wake up one day and you're not into me anymore, you're absolutely free to tell me that and leave. I will understand, that is exactly why we agreed to this Maybe shit, because we both knew it was tricky and I know what I signed up for, I know that I can get burned by the fire that shines so bright, so please don't listen to him and just..." He was so nervous and frustrated that he didn't know what to say anymore, because he didn't want to lose Chanyeol, not one single bit, but if what Jongdae said and if he was right.

Maybe Chanyeol really was just passing time with him just to have fun and that would break him to beyond repair in the end, but he knew that would happen anyway, he knew it and even though he did Baekhyun jumped into the fire because he was inlove.. He eyes were filling up with tears by the thought of Chanyeol leaving him, that's when Chanyeol pulled him into his arms hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry that I didn't reply to him" He said rubbing Baekhyun back.

"I know, that you must think that I don't want this right now, but I really do.. I like you Baek and..." He sighed burying his nose into Baekhyun's neck, breathing heavely, gently  plasing a kiss there.

"I couldn't say it out loud like that. I was surprised by the question, but I like you, I really do.. Very much and I will not leave you, I don't want to leave you" Baekhyun was leaning his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, calming himself because those words were enough. The smallest things were enough, becuase he never really expected this to go this far, not any of it.

"I love you" He mumbled to Chanyeol, who smiled sightly and softly kissed Baekhyun's pouted lips.

"Don't be mad at Jongdae, okay? He is just trying to keep you safe, he is a really good friend. Actually Sehun feels the same way, but I forbid him to say anything like that to you, because I would beat the shit out of him" Baekhyun smiled at that, making Chanyeol's eyes light up again as if he was seeing something that he really cherished. Baekhyun kissed him once more, before Jongdae and Sehun returned with a lot of beer.

"Look at those lovebirds!" Sehun yelled laughingl Baekhyun made a funny face to Sehun and moved away from Chanyeol's shoulder, but their hands stayed intertwined under the table. When Baekhyun looked at Jongdae, he could see the guilt he was feeling in his eyes, no matter how much Jongdae was smiling, Baekhyun knew him better than anyone else and he was feeling guilty because he knew that he overstepped his privileges.

"I will kick you in the balls Kim Jongdae" Baekhyun threatened with a murderous smily face, that's when something unexpected happend. Sehun's hands moved to cover Jongdae's private area, making Chanyeol blow his beer out of his mouth choking, while's Baekhyun's eyes widened and mouth hanging open.

"I'm not gonna let that happen" Sehun said, then he started laughing at their faces. 

"You should've seen your faces" Jongdae pushed his hand away.

"You're such a pervet, did I just get myself into the most famous gay cult in Seoul or something?" They all laughed and continued the night without anymore incidents or dramatic turn of events.

 

 

When they left the restaurant, Sehun offered Jongdae to sleep on the couch in his apartment instead of making the _'lovebirds'_  As he called them, spend a night without eacho ther and Jongdae agreed without a thought, making Chanyeol and Baekhyun looks one another questioning, what was going on here.

 

When they got home Baekhyun was still a bit upset from what had happened earlier, but tried not to show it too much. Chanyeol however knew him way too well, sensing it from a mile away.

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch tonight or just go to my apartment?" Chanyeol asked because, he knew that he was at fault and that he deserved some punishment. Baekhyun shook his head, without looking at him.

"No, I want to cuddle" Chanyeol went to him with a slight smile on his face, placing a finger under Baekhyun's chin, making him look into his eyes.

"But you look mad" There was worry in Chanyeol's eyes, looking all over Baekhyun's face, trying to read him.

"Just a bit upset" Baekhyun said wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's waist and pulling him into a hug, leaning his head on Chanyeol's chest, explaing eveything now.

"It's just that I know I shouldn't be expecting anything at all, that I don't have the right to anyway. I know that if I do expect something, it will beeak me and I will tell you about it and if I tell you, that I expect something it might be too much for you and you would just pick up and leave... And I won't be able to deal with that, I know what I said back at the restaurant.. That it's alright to leave and all, but that is not true, not even a single bit, beause I couldn't bare it if you leave me. I've fallen was too deep for it to be okay. I'm too blinded buy the fire now, I'm like a moth into flame, that burns so much but it's all too sweet... It feels like I'm walking on thin ice and no matter that I still expect things and I want to have you all to myself, but you're still not ready for that.. And I understand that, I really do. Out of all people I know best what it means not to be ready, so I won't bring this up again.. I just had to say it once, so it gets out, I don't want you to feel presured or anything. I just want you to know how I feel aboutyou, just the same way I wish that I knew how you felt about me. I ask myself atleast ten times a day, do you really lovee me or do you enjoy being with me, I don't know how you feel and that is kind of disappointing.." Baekhyun felt Chanyeol's arms wrapping stringer around his thin figure, he thought that he might break at some point, but he was happy because he was feeling safe in those arms. Eveything he wanted was to spend the rest of his life with Chanyeol, because he was the only thing that made sence in his existence, but that was too much to say outloud, even the thought of it made him afraid.

"You're the best thing that happened to me Byun Baekhyun, I know that I haven't been treating you the way you deserve and that I've put you through a hard time, but I promise you that you can tell me or do anything, without worrying about me leaving you, because I can't leave. Where can I go, you're my happiness. I promise you, no more thin ice, I was afraid of all this in the begging and that is way I made you believe all of this, because I wasnt sure in myself and now I am. I know what I want and that is you, no more Maybe Baek. No more fear, no more nothing, it's just you and me and us being happy, okay?"

Baekhyun could hear Chanyeol's heart raising as he said those things and felt his own beat twice as fast as Chanyeol's.

"No more Maybe?" Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol, who met his eyes and there was passion and deciation in them for thefirst time.

"No more Maybe." He leaned and kissed him, making Baekhyun's feet feel weak, but he was happy more than simply happy at tat moment, he was in heaven.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

After few days it was their one month anniversary since they officially has started dating, but Baekhyun had forgotten about that and spend the day as usual. Making Chanyeol's morning coffee, then walking in the park with Koko and to Chanyeol's work and then walked to Sehun's cafe.

Through the day. one thought had haunted Baekhyun, remembering how Chanyeol had taken his shirt off that night, after they got home. He wanted to share the bed in a new way, get used to each other more intimately, taking another step in their relationship, but Baekhyun was the one not ready that time. He had said that he couldn't, leaving Chanyeol sharing his body alone. Chanyeol had said, that it was okay and that he understood, Baekhyun thought that the compensation of hugging him and placing kisses on the exposed skin was enough, but he kept feeling like it wasn't.

He decided that it was time for him to finally fully let go of his past, show his scar and all of his broken pieces to him. Let Chanyeol fix him, glew them all together and make him whole again, Baekhyun decided to give eveything he had to Chanyeol tonight.

 

 

Baekhyun wanted to go home earlier and prepare dinner for Chanyeol. For the first time in his life, which probably would end not so romantic with the fire department as guest too. Then watch a romantic movie, have some wine and make a nice atmosphere for something more after.

But Sehun told him that he will have to stay until 9PM, which was 5 hours more than usual and Baekhyun just felt desperate, becuase he wouldn't be even able to walk with Chanyeol home, let alone do anything else, but he didn't say anything to Sehun. Agreeing to help him with the srock, that had to be counted for revision, mentally leaving his plan for a romantic dinner and something more for tomorrow.

Baekhyun texted Chanyeol and told him that he was going to be late and not able to pick him up from the school, Chanyeol replied that he was going to come and get him instead and not to worry about it, that he was going to cook dinner before he goes.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

They were walking home while holding hands as usual, Baekhyun saw that Chanyeol was extremely happy today and that there was excitement in his eyes, he wondered why. Chanyeol was sweetly kissing Baekhyun's hand from time to time, smiling widely at him and when he picked Baekhyun from the café, he had hugged him and kissed his cheek. It was all too sweet and gentle making Baekhyun happy, but he felt a bit guilty still because he wanted to repay the happiness Chanyeol was giving him.

 

 

Baekhyun wanted to go into his apartment, but Chanyeol shook his head leading Baekhyun to his own and getting in.

"Why are we going to your apartment?" Baekhyun asked, as they walked in and the scenery answered his question. On the table there was an expensive looking dinner with a bottle of wine and few candles. Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol surprised, still not remembering what was today.

"Happy 1 month together" Chanyeol smiled brightly at Baekhyun, hugging him tightly and kissing him softly.

"I made Sehun hold you longer at work, so I could prepare eveything" Baekhyun couldn't believe how stupid he was for forgetting this, he knew that Chanyeol was a fool for things like this. He was sentimental and touchy, when it came to little things like this. Baekhyun felt even more guilty, but now it was perfect timing to repay Chanyeol for everything after dinner. He smiled at Chanyeol kissing him again.

"This is beautiful" They both kept smiling at each other and went to sit down.

"You must be tired from what Sehun made you do and I'm sorry about that, but I promise the dinner is worth all that hard work, you will love it" Baekhyun was starving, so without a thought he started eating, cheerfully smiling at Chanyeol from time to time when he looked at him.

 

After they finished eatimg, Chanyeol had prepared a movie to watch with Baekhyun. He had started liking romantic movies, since he had Chanyeol to actually do the stupid things that were showed in them, he used to hate all of thrm before, because they made him feel sad.

"It was really hard to pick a movie from nowadays and there weren't really any romantic ones to suit today, so I decided a movie from 2004 'If Only' I read the feedback and it was pretty good, I think that you will like it too" Chanyeol said as he put the movie on and sat on the couch next to Baekhyun.

"Oh wait, should I go and make popcorns?" Chanyeol asked, looking at Baekhyun who shook his head, crawling closer to Chanyeol and into his arms.

"No, just hug me" Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun's waist and pulled him to sit in his lap.

"Are you comfortable?" Chanyeol asked, while Baekhyun leaned his head on his shoulders.

"Very" He mumbled finding Chanyeol's hand and wrapping their fingers together.

 

 

They were in the middle of the movie, but Baekhyun wasn't really paying attention to it at all, becuase the lights were turned off and his thoughts of actually sleeping with Chanyeol were making him really nervous, his heart beatung faster and faster.

Baekhyun took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. It wasn't a big deal, he just had to get over this feeling, his fear of being attacked again while he is vulnerable and when thevulnerable was right, he would forget about all of his worries and get to it.

"Are you okay?" Chanyeol asked, pulling back a bit to look into Baekhyuns eyes, because he left that something was wrong. His eyes were filled with worry, but Baekhyun just nodded sighing.

"Yeah... I just.." He licked his lips, biting his lower one, looking at Chanyeol's now and back to his eyes for a moment.

Kissing him passionately, pulling Chanyeol closer with one hand that was placed on his nape, Chanyeol was retunring the kiss with the same hotness.

When they parted, Baekhyun was breathing heavenly now, sitting up in Chanyeol lap fully. His thighs on both side of Chanyeol, kissing him again. Chanyeol's hands were on Baekhyun's waist, holing hin gently, kissing him back without a sound, but Baekhyun however was moaning. Which was a surprise for himself, probably for Chanyeol too.

When Chanyeol slightly bit Baekhyun's lip, he gasped and pulled away for a second, looking into his eyes for a very brief moment, moving to Chanyeol's jawline and down to his neck, unbuttoning his shirt and moving down to his chest, placing kissed toevery part of the exposed skin.

"Baek..." Chanyeol whispered, Baekhyun knew what he meant without looking at him,, he wanted to say that it was his the first time with a guy and that he was nervous about it.

"I know" Baekhyun whispered against his skin. 

"I'll be careful" He had already unbuttoned Chanyeol's shirt, moving his hands up along his torso to Chanyeol's shoulders to pull the shirt down. Kissing Chanyeol's lips again for a second, moving to his collarbones sucking there for a moment longer, makinga red spot.

"Baekhyun..." Chanyeol sounded kind of desperate this time, making Baekhyun look at him with a question. There was shyness and worry in Chanyeol's eyes.

"If you dont want to, It's okay" Baekhyun said, trying to move away because he might've just made Chanyeol uncomfortable and crossing a line.

"No, It's not that" Chanyeol's strong hands kept Baekhyun on his place.

"It's just... It will be my first time... Like ever.."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this one came out as a disaster chapter, I'm sorry <3
> 
> I was lowkey shipping Sehun and Jongdae for a long time and I finally managed to put them together in this story Yay!  
> \- It was accidental haha :D
> 
> A very special thank you to my friend Kristina who helped me picking the movie, that they were watching and apparently Baekhyun wasn't really interssted in, because he had other things in mind.  
> But everyone should take time to watch that movie, it's amazing.


	6. I See All Of Your Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we gont to the smut part {who was waiting for it?} I was for sure haha I hope you enjoy it :D

Baekhyun laughed unbelieving at Chanyeol's words, of course he was joking. The girls must've been all over him in high school.

"Nice joke, I almost believed you" Baekhyun said, with a playful smirk, he kept gigling while holding at the rims of Chanyeol's shirt and looking in his eyes. They were now filled with shame, he looked away from Baekhyun, shifting awkwardly under him, clearing his throat.

"I've never had a girlfriend either... And never slept with anyone" His voice was quiet as a whisper, his whole face red now from the embarrassment that he was feeling from revealing this.

"Oh my god!" Baekhyun said shocked, his eyes widdden when he realized what had happened.

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry" He said quickly, jumping away from Chanyeol like he was burnt from him.

"I'm so sorry, Chanyeol" Baekhyun was on the other side of the couch, curved into a ball. He wascovering his face, feeling ashamed of himself.

"I'm so dumb" Baekhyun cursed himself for not thinking about Chanyeol and how he would feel about something like this, the thought of him being a vigin had never crossed his mind. Now everything was even worse for Baekhyun, because Chanyeol was actually a virgin and he had no idea until now, that everything they did together was Chanyeol's first and Baekhyun took it away without a thought. Kiss, Date, Sleep in one bed, Sex...

Baekhyun facepalmed himself, while Chanyeol was sitting all red and embarrassed on the couch, not knowing what to say, but he treid to make everything feel less awkward, but it didn't really work.

"I'm sorry that I ruied this.. Our anniversary.. With my stupidity" He choked on his words, still trying tocool down. Baekhyun scoffed looking at him like he had said a really bad joke.

"It's not you of course, It's me.. I'm the one who threw himself at you, without thinking over it first.. You're probably thinking that I'm some pervert who just tried to rape you.. And that I'm only in it for the sex.." Baekhyun was sinking into his thoughts and horror spilled all over his body when he realized, what if he had crossed the line for real this time and Chanyeol would leave him now. That's when Chanyeol pulled him away from his scary thoughs by taking both of his hands in his big ones.

"Of course not Baek, I know that you're not like that, because you if it was only about the sex we would've done it a longtime ago.. I'm really sorry.. I shouldn't have said anything, I just wasn't expecting it to be today. I promise that everything's fine, just give me a little time, okay?" Chanyeol was seeing Baekhyun's horrified face, reading his eyes and what he feared the most and that's why he, assured him that everything was okay.

He was looking at Baekhyun with puppy eyes, hoping that he wasn't mad at him, when it had to be the other way around. Chanyeol should've been mad at Baekhyun instead, at least that was what Baekhyun thought.

Baekhyun just nodded, still feeling like he messed up everything, waiting for Chanyeol's yells and a scandal to explode, while depression and anxiety waves hit him hard and rip his heart apart, but those never came.

Chanyeol sighed relieved, easing a bit but his eyes were still filled with regret, Baekhyun's were probally the same. He got up on his feet, scratching the back of his neck.

"I should probably go.." He looked around and pointed at the front door, Chanyeol looked at him with distress for a moment, but after a seconds he agreed for Baekhyun to leave.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was passed 2AM.

Baekhyun still shifting and turning in his bed unable to fall asleep. It was too cold without Chanyeol, even though they started sleeping in one bed just a few weeks ago, he got used to Chanyeol's warm body hugging him. Now when he wasn't there, it was uncomforable for Baekhyun it felt like a part of him was missing. He wondered if it was the same for Chanyeol too, was he awak right now or was he comfortably sleeping everything off.

Baekhyun was still upset with himself and couldn't get over the thought, that he didn't talk with Chanyeol about this beforedoing anything. If he had, he would've known and not rush into anything, that's why he believed that he deserved to sleep in a cold bed tonight, he had to be more caring and thoughtful.

 

After awhile longer, Baekhyun heard the front door being unlocked. The only person who had keys to his apartment was Chanyeol, they both had keys to each other's apartments just in case _'In cases like this one'_ Baekhyun thought to himself, cuddling the cover with his arms and legs.

Few seconds later, he heard heavy footsteps entering his room. Baekhun wasn't moving, pretending to be asleep, then he a large warm body laying close to him from behind. Chanyeol wrapped his long arms around Baekhyun's waist, pulling him even closer, snuggling his face into Baekhyun's nape. Beathing him in and exhaling a few times, until he relaxed against Baekhyun's back. It felt like he haven't seen him in weeks, Chanyeol placed a kiss on the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry" He whispered against his skin, he probably felt Baekhyun's wild heartbeat which didn't suit a sleeping man. Baekhyun took one of his hands that were laying on his waist, bringing it up to his lips, kissing it gently.

"I love you" Baekhyun sighed, as if he wished that it was enough to hear it back.

"I know" Chanyeol whispered, hugged him even more tightly like Baekhyun was going to run away, but still he didn't reply. No matter how many times Baekhyun had said it, he never said it back.

"Me too" Chanyeol had finally whispered against his skin, placing another kiss there, making Baekhyun's heart race like it was the first time when they kissed. Still it wasn't like _'I love you too'_  But it was enough for Baekhyun, having in mind the circumstances.

Baekhyun shifted to face Chanyeol now, wrapping his legs around Chanyeol's, covering both of them with the blanket. He placed a hand on his cheek, caressing him.

"I'm sorry too... I should've been more patient, I just thought that I wasn't doing enough for you and wanted to repay you somehow and thought that sex was the right thing for that, how wrong was I" Baekhyun laughed sourly, mocking himself. Chanyeol giggled at Baekhyun's ' _innocent_ ' intentions.

"Just simply being here, next to me is enough, everything else is a bonus to it" Chanyeol said, kissing Baekhyun's nose and then lips.

"I watched the rest of the movie before I came here, it made me realize a lot of things.." Chanyeol continued, while moving his fingers through Baekhyun's soft hair, gently caresing his cheek along the way.

"I should've told you that I haven't dated before" Chanyeol was looking at his lips and Baekhyun kissed him, giggling.

"I still can't believe it, I thought girls were crazy about you and that you had the opportunity to be with quite a few" Baekhyun snuggled closer to him, while he was laughing.

"Well, all of them thought that I was ugly" Baekhyun scoffed, turning Chnayeol's facetowards his so he could kiss him.

"You're not, not at all. Was I your first kiss as well?" Chanyeol smiled at him, chucking.

"Yes you were, you're my first date as well and my first boyfriend too" Baekhyun laughed, joking.

"I would've choked if you said that I was your Second boyfriend" They both laughed and Baekhyun continued seriously, while he played with Chanyeol's fingers under the covers.

"If I knew that, I would've been more.. You know ' _first everythingy_ ' and not steal your precious moments, like it was nothing and take things slower. I know how much you like these kind of things to be like on the movies, all super romantic and sentimental" Chanyeol smiled at him, caressing his face and kissing him again.

"They were all perfect moments, I coudn't wish for more. If you knew, you would've probably felt even more awkward then when you learned about it and things would've felt weird and take forever to actually get somewhere. Eveything is just the way it's supposed to be right now, don't think about it too much. I'm happy that we are here right now, the way we are, close like this" Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun into his embrace kissing him, rubbing their nises together, showing how much he appreciated him.

After few more minutes of sweetness they fell asleep still hugging like that.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

On the next morning everything was back to normal, Baekhyun still had this little guilty feeling inside of his chest about lastnight, but it wasn't making anything awkward, at least that's what Baekhyun thought. The thing that he didn't know, was that he was actually making everything _Really_ awkward, without realizing it. He didn't say the usual morning _'I love you'_ to Chanyeol while they were cuddling. He forgot to put extra vanilla in Chanyeol's usual Oreo coffee. He didn't kiss him goodbye, as Chanyeol left for work. Baekhyun was thinking about how Chanyeol must've felt all this time and that it should've been better experience for him, more magical. He really did deserve it and a lot more, than what Baekhyun had given him. While he was lost in his own thoughts, Baekhyun forgot the little trivial things, making Chanyeol worry without realizing it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

  

At 3:30PM Chanyeol texted Baekhyun, he usually called him if there was something he wantd to tell him.

**'Don't wait for me in front of the school to walk home, I have work...'**

Few seconds later another text arraived, before Baekhyun could even reply to the first one.

**'I'll text you when dinner is read to come over at my place.'**

Baekhyun wondered why Chanyeol didn't want to walk with him or cook dinnet together at his apartment. The thoughts of Chanyeol being upset because of yesterday made his stomach clinch and fear creeped into his heart, the same way like it did before. Aweak panic attacked formed inside Baekhyun only by the thought, that Chaneol didn't want to spend time with him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was pure torture for Baekhyun to wait until Chanyeol texeted. He walked homealone, not buying griceries like he usually did and everything seemed cold and grey without Chnayeol's colorful and warm smile. Time passed excruciatingly slow for Baekhyun to bare his thoughts, that were filling his mind, falling deeper and deeperintohis usual depressed state.

He thought of going to Chanyeol's apartment around 8:15, which was the usual time Chanyeol was getting home, but he could've make him mad by just not listening to what he had told him to do and Baekhyun's intention wasn't to make him mad.

 

At 9:30 He got a text.

**'You should eat dinner, I'm running late. Sorry...'**

Baekhyun sighed desperately at the text, throwing his phone on the couch, while rubbing his forehead with his fingers. He had a slight headache of all the thinking, what could he do to fix this.

"I did everything wrong and now he is going to break up with me" He said to himself, letting thepain swallow his heart. He looked over at the instant ramyeon packages on the kitchen shelf.

"I hate you" He said to it and agreeing with himself, that he won't eat. Not even a single bite, not until Chanyeol was back home and he talked with him about everything and beg not to leave him, if he had to.

Chanyeol didn't even call him, he just texted, which was a red light in Baekhyun's mind, ared light for  _'He was going to break up with me'_ There weren't even any emojis in those texts, only dots, fucking dots and everybody knew what dots meant. Baekhyun took a hint from all of those things, he knew what was going to happen and what he had to do.

 

11:30 Chanyeol texted again.

Baekhyun was laying on the table, hitting his head, about to cry.

**'I'm here, can you please come over, I'm really tired..'**

Before Baekhyun finished reading the text, he was already out of his apartment and rushing to the next door. When he opened it, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol standing there, smiling at him from the kitchen counter. Before Chanyeol could say anything, Baekhyun ran to him and hugging him tightly, feeling the tears sinking into Chanyeol's shirt.

"Please don't leave me, Chanyeol" He sobbed, gripping at the back of his shirt.

"I promise, I won't do anything like that again. Please I love you so much.." He sobbed, Chanyeol sounded confused and worried, taking Baekhyun's face into his hans and looking into his eyes.

"What are you talking about, why are you crying?" Baekhyun sobbed agaian, trying to catch his breath.

"Aren't you mad at me?" Chanyeol replied calmy, shaking his head, while caressing Baekhyun's cheeks with his thumbs.

"No, why would I be?" Baekhyun's tears stopped now, blinking a few times to  see Chanyeol more clearly.

"And you're not going to break up with me?" He asked, still with blurry eyes a bit confused, the last tears rolling down his face.

"Of course not Baekhyun, why would you even think that I will do that" He wiped the tears with his tumb, gently smiling at him. Baekhyun hugged him again as thight as he could, like Chanyeol was going to disappear. Baekhyun sniffed, explaining himself now.

"Well.. First you told me that you didn't want to walk home with me, then you told me that you can't eat with me either. I thought you were mad because of yesterday and that you want to break up because of my mistake and now when I came here, I thought that you were going to tell me that it's all over and..." Baekhyun sighed, rubbing his face against Chanyeol's chest, feeling embarrassed now when he heard how ridiculous it all sounded.

"I'm sorry, I'm overreacting again" Baekhyun stepped away from the taller one, rubbing his eyes and scratching his neck nervously, sighing loudly because he realized how stupid he looked, pulling a scene like that. Chanyeol giggled at him and how cute he was, he pulled him for playful kiss.

"You're way too cute when you're pouting" He caressed Baekhyun's face, placing a kiss on both of his cheeks.

"Did you eat?" Chanyeol asked, while placing a kiss here and there, holding him in his arms, Baekhyun shook his head.

"I couldn't" Chanyeol sighed, looking a bit dissapointed, reaching out to the cabinet and taking out Baekhyun's most favorite cookies, the triple chocolate ones.

"Here, eat some" Baekhyun looked at him questioning.

"What happened with, no sweet before dinner?" Chanyeol giggled, because Baekhyun really followed that rule.

"They were supposed to be for _After_ , but since you haven't ate, they're for now" He was smiling at him, Baekhyun took one out and bite off.

"After what?" He asked curious, Chanyeol smirked at him.

"The thing that I've been preparing all night" Baekhyun swallowed hard, leaving the package on the counter, realizing that Chanyeol was home all along and been doing something.

"What are you talking about?" Chanyeol only grinned at him, taking his hand and walking to his bedroom.

"Come with me" His smile brighting the room, Baekhyun's heart started beating really fast, becuase he didn't know what to expect. What was going to happen, what did prepare, probably his murder.

 

When they walked in, Baekhyun just kept staring without saying a thing he was too surprised, trying to actually catch his breath becuase he had stopped for a couple of seconds, feeling his heart pounding in his ears. There were candles, a champagne, rose petals on the bed and floor. _'Of course, typical Chanyeol style for a first time cliché'_ Baekhyun thought.

"Oh god.." Baekhyun only managed to gasp, looking around the room. Chanyeol turned to look at him worried.

"Is it too much? It's over the top, isn't... I will take them away" He was stressing out that Baekhyun didn't like it. He grabbed Chanyeol's hand before he could go anywhere and make a mess out of everything. 

"No no, of course not, it's not..." Baekhyun said with amazed sigh really taking in the sight that Chanyeol had put so much effort to make.

"It's really amazing and beautiful, It's so you actually, like the perfect romantic movie" Baekhyun smiled pulling him closer, he knew exactly what was going to happen tonight, but he had to make sure that everything was okay and Chanyeol was actually ready this time.

"Are you sure about this?" He was looking in his eyes, gripping at the shirt on Chanyeol's waist.

"I don't want you to rush, only because of me. I don't need this, I'm perfectly fine with what we have right now" Baekhyun was still looking at Chanyeol, his eyes were sparkling, he smiled back at him nodding nervously.

"Yes, I'm sure" Bitting his lower lip and leaning to kiss Baekhyun. It was sweet and passionate, Chanyeol's lips slowly moving to Baekhyun's jaw and neck, slightly sucking the skin, making Baekhyun gasp.

"You're my only star that shines bright, a star thay was way too far from me but yet I fell for it, now I feel it so close and warm inside my heart. You're the one who brightens my lonely cold nights and help me draw my course from your destination, while looking at your bright beauty in the darkest night, so I won't get lost. I love you Byun Baekhyun" Chanyeol whispered in Baekhyun's ear, making him shiver, becuase he had been waiting for this moment since so long, when Chanyeol actually says it to him, that it seemed like an impossible dream and not real, now that it happened.

Chanyeol moved away to look at Baekhyun, who just pulled him into a breatheless kiss without saying anything. Baekhyun didn't notice that Chnayeol had already taken his shirt off when they parted, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. Baekhyun pulled him for an other kiss but shorter this time, more sweet and slow.

"You know, you don't have to rush. we can take this slow" Baekhyun said against Chanyeol's lips, he bit his lower one nerviously sighing.

"Sorry" Baekhyun chuckled, moving down to place few kissed one Chanyeol's collarbones and chest, leaning his head to a side giving a hint for Canyeol to kiss his neck and he didn't dissapount, his kisses were strong and slopping. Baekhyun knew that his whole neck would be filled with hickeys on the next day, but it was okay he didn't care, becuase it all felt too nice. 

That's when Baekhyun froze because he felt Chanyeol's finger unbuttoning his shirt, Baekhun's heart started beating million times faster, feeling the adrenaline rushing through his body. He grabbed Chanyeol's hands to stop him, taking a step away from him, his eyes closed, trying to take control of the suden panic attack. Chanyeol's hand caressed his cheek realizing what was happening. He placed a kiss on his forehead, moving his hand under Baekhyun's chin lifting his head up.

"Open your eyes, look at me" Chanyeol whispered with a calm voice, Baekhyun listened to him and opened them even though he didn't want to, it was like Chanyeol was the only thing that could help him get through this now. When he looked at him, his eyes were reassuring and filled with love.

"It's okay, just breath" He said nodding at Baekhyun, who was still gripping at Chanyeol's large arms, Baekhyun swallowed loudly and nodded slightly, breathing out.

"Let me" Baekhyun said and moved another step back from Chanyeol, who let go of his shirt.

Now Baekhyun was turned with his back towards Chanyeol, slowly unbottong his shirt, breathing heavilly, trying to take control over his stupid instinct to protect himself from harm.

He felt Chanyeol walking closer to him and slowly wrapping his arms around his waist. Baekhyun felt like pushing them away and just run becuase that was the only thing that his body was telling his, to run away. He fought that urge, because he knew that this was Chanyeol and that he would never hurt him so he let him lean his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder.

"It's okay, you can trust me" Chanyeol whispered, kisseing the side of his neck and moving his hands over Baekhyun's who were shaking, holding the rim of his shirt.

"It's me, there's nothing to be scared of" Chanyeol said while slowly started pulling Baekhyun's hands down with the shirt, exposing his shoulders and placing caring full of love kisses at every millimeter.

"It's only the two of us and nothing else matters right now" He continued saying with his calming husky voice, pulling the shirt further down to Baekhyun's elbows. he let go of his hands and hugged him, wrapping his arms around his waist again.

Baekhyun let go of the shirt so it could fall on the floor and their bare bodies could feel one another for the first time. Baekhyun was trembling in his embrace, Chanyeol could feel his little heart pacing with million miles an hour.

"You're so warm" Chanyeol hummed with a smile, wrapping his arms tighter and leaning his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder whispering gently in his hear.

"You know, the first time when I realized that I loved you and that I couldn't go a day without you, was the day of our first date. I just wanted to give you everything and make you happy no matter what cost me, I knew I would do anything to see you smile. Every day since then I've only fallen deeper and I'm sorry that it took so long for me to actuallly say it, but I love you" Chanyeol rested his cheek on Baekhyun's shoulder now, kissing his neck.

"What.. What if you don't love me anymore after seeing this and how damaged I am" Baekhyun mumbled looking down at his chest, Chanyeol's took both of his hand in his big ones, whispering.

"No matter what, you're always going to be beautiful to me from the outside and inside. I will love every single imperfection about you amd your body" After hearing those words Baekhyun sighed and stepped away from Chanyeol. He took few breathes before slowly turning around, looking staright at Chanyeol's face for his reaction. His eyes wandered over his bare chest, holding his sight for a seconnd longer on his scar and then moving to look into Baekhyun's eyes with a slight reassuring smile.

"You're perfectly beautiful with all your scars and broken pieces" When Chanyeol said that a weight had been lifted from Baekhyun's shoulder, he felt like he could take a breathe without feeling like suffocating, it wasn't heavy anymore and there was no more fear in him. Maybe he was scared of rejection and not the actual problem that he had developed for someone to hurt him. He hugged Chanyeol, kissing his shoulder once and leaned his head there.

"Thank you" Baekhyun said as they stayed like that for awhile, he needed little time to get used to the thought of being exposed and vulnerable in front of someone and Chanyeol knew that.

 

Chanyeol gently lifted Baekhyun off his feet and layed him on the bed, climbing on top of him, his eyes wondering over Baekhyun's chest and abs, then back to his eyes.

"I love you" He said again and leaned to kiss him, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's neck kissed him back. Chanyeol moved to his neck making more smuches there, and then to his collarbones, taking his time to make sure that every inch was kissed.

When he moved to his chest and over Baekhyun's scar, he just pressed his lips all over it, being extremly gentle. He wanted to show Baekhyun that it didn't matter to him that he had a scar and reassure him about his beauty and make him more confident about himself. Chanyeol moved away to look at Baekhyun's eyes and whisper again.

"You're beautiful" Kissing him and bitting his lip, which made Baekhyun gasp, probably leaving a little wound there, Chanyeol chuckled.

"I'm sorry, you're just too sweet" Baekhyun giggled, wrapping his legs around Chanyeol's waist and turning their position, he was on top of Chanyeol now.

"Now just lay there and enjoy" Baekhyun said with a wicked smile, making his own smuches over Chanyeol's torso, marking his territory like he had dreamed of  doing for so long, not forgetting to kiss Chnayeol's puffy lips from time to time, because he was a fool for kisses.

When Baekhyun moved his hands dow  to unbutton Chanyeol's pants he looked at him and his eyes were pinned on Baekhyun's long finger, lips parted and breathing heavily. Baekhyun saw his whole beung stiff, he chuckled.

"Relax, I won't eat you.. Well not literally... Well uhm..." Baekhun got confused what to say in this situation and how to actually call a blowjob. He felt the emberasment taking over him and his face burning, proabbaly red as a tomato, he was nervous too and he hadn't noticed it until now.

"You don't bite, do you?" Chanyeol asked playfully, making it funny and taking the presure off Baekhyun, he chuckled gratefully that his stupidity didn't ruin the mood.

"Noooh, only you do that" He replied joking and winking at Chanyeol, they both laughed and Baekhyun continued taking Chanyeol's pants off.

When he did that Chanyeol was with red boxers, which Baekhyun thought that he had got specially for tonight and that he thought the red color to be seductive. He smiled at the sight and how Chanyeol thought of every detail. Baekhyun moved to kiss him again, whispering in his ear.

"Nice boxers, too bad they will be gone in a bit" Kissing his neck moving his hands all over Chanyeol body, feeling his heard beating hard again his chest, Baekhyun whispered again.

"It's okay, I'm nervous too" Chanyeol bit Baekhyun's shoulder, making him gasp, maybe Chanyeol's kink was biting and he like the idea of Chanyeol biting him everywhere, maybe it was his kink too.

Baekhyun moved down to Chnayeol's nipple and started licking curcles around it, playing with his lips, while his hand moved to his crotch. A moan escaped Chanyeol's lips as Baekhyun rubbed the fabric, his moan was like music to Baekhyun's ears turning him on even more then he imagined.

He was surprised how hard Chanyeol was already, he smiled and moved his lips, hissing his abs and bitting here and there making Chanyeol gasp, he really liked that.

When he was at the waist band, sliding his fingers under it, Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol who was now impatient for Baekhyun's next move and didn't need more reassurance, he wasn't worried or shy anymore, Baekhyun knew that he could let go now and not worrying about his reactions and not liking it.

"Too bad, It's time for them to go" Baekhyun faked a disappoint face, bitting his lower lip as he pulled the boxers down, Chanyeol's erected cock was bigger than Baekhyun expected and was worried if he could handle him the way he wanted to, so Chanyeol would be pleased.

Baekhyun took Chanyeol's cock in his hand and slowly moved few time up and down, teasing him a bit, hearing Chanyeol's sighs with every move, but Baekhyun didn't look at him.

Baekhyun licked the head, making Chanyeol moan again and again as he continued to play with his tongue all around it and then over the slit, that's when Chanyeol pushed his hips up anticipated without realizing it, but Baekhyun pulled away, smirking.

"Don't move" Baekhyun purred with a wicked smile and continued his teasing game, licked his ength and then slowly started to take it in his mouth, measuring how much he could take without any incidents.

Chanyeol kept sighing, when Baekhyun was over the half if his length he decided that it's enough and took the rest with his hand making him still. He started moving his head up and down giving Chanyeol essential feelings, ones that he had never felt before. The moans that were loudly escaping Chanyeol's mouth were the thing that encouraged Baekhyun to go faster and faster.

"Ah..fuck Baek" Chanyeol moved his hand to Baekhyun's head and gripped his hair, holding him, pushing him down making Baekhyun deepthroat him, but fortunately Baekhyun managed not to choke. Surprised he pulled slighly up to take a breath and back to his pace, but before he could make another move Chanyeol had cumed without a warning for him to move away, so he had to swallow it.

Baekhyun moved up looking at Chanyeol, who was leaning on his elbows, head leaned back. His neck exposed, red and sweaty, the vanes too visible, it was turning Baekhyun on more than he expected. He kept exploring the sight, Chanyeol's eyes were halfclosed, a fist in his moth, biting his knuckles.

He finally looked at Baekhyun after a few seconds and moved closer to him with a wicked smile, he was in a sitting position now. With his thumb Chanyeol wiped away some of the cum that was left on Baekyun's lips and instead of wiping it in a tissue or in the sheets like Baekhyun expected, but he surprised him by shoving his finger in Baekhyun's mouth, whispering whickedly, the smile that was suiting his tone not leaving his face.

"How do I taste?" There was something in his eyes that baekhyun haven't seen before, maybe it was the moment when he had let go of all of his inhibitions and there was no more shyness or worry, he was hungry for more, looking way too wicked and anticipated. Baekhyun smiled at him because he liked this, sucking his finger further in his mouth, playing with his tongue around it, making Chanyeol grin at him even more dirty and playful.

"Delicious" He replied, that's when Chanyeol grabbed him around hus waist and pushed his body roughly against Baekhyun's, making his lay down.

"Is that so?" He asked with a playful voice, pushing his body down harder, making Baekhyun gasp.

"Let me try" Before Baekhun could even say anything Chanyeol was roughly kissing him, his tongue battling inside Baekhyun's mouth letting him win eventually because it was way too sweet for him to be the submissive one and Chanyeol the dominant one. _'There goes the **'I'm a vanilla type of guy'** ' _Baekhyun thought.

While Baekhyun was trying to realize what was going on, because he didn't expect Chanyeol to be like this so rough and wicked, at least not his first time.

His thoughts left his head the moment when he felt Chanyeol's hand moving under his pants, wrapping his large hand around Baekhyun cock, making him moan and flinch at the touch.

His hand started moving up and down without stopping, only speeding his movenents and not letting Baekhyun take a breath, keeping his mouth busy as well. He was moaning agains Chanyeol's lips before Baekhyun could do anything he cummed in Chanyeol hand with a loud yell, pushing his head back and away from Chanyeol's lips so he could finally breathe.

Chanyeol only chuckled, wickedly with a note of pride, he moved to kiss Baekhyun's exposed neck while wiping his hand over his abs.

"What are you.." Baekhyun asked breathelss, looking down at his stomach.

"Making sure that I will have something to wash later" He whispered in Baekhyun's ear playfully, making a dirty promise that Baekhyun didn't had the patience to wait for. Chanyeol was surprising him even more with all of his actions, he seemed like totally different person now.

Baekhyun was looking at Chanyeol admiring him, when he turned around to take something from the night stand and then he waved it in the air, it was a bottle of lube. Baekhyun's eyes widened, because he didn't really expect them to go all the way tonight, but still Chanyeol always wanted everything to be perfect so it was no surprise really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun had fallen asleep in Chanyeol's arms, exausted after their wild sex session, once they got the hang of it they both didn't really want to stop, but they had no more strenght for more.

 

When Baekhyun woke up he was starving, but he had to take a shower first, because Chanyeol made a mess all over his body. He was soundlessly sleeping next to Baekhyun, he wanted to run his long fingers through his fluffy hair _'After sex hair'_  Baekhyun thought chuckling to hmself.

Biting his lips nervously, because he let his eyes wander down Chanyeol's body and he was worried that might be caught, but it was way too satisfying to look at him, his beauty. His slightly swollen lips from the passionate kisses that they shared. His neck and collarbones covered with hikeys, Baekhyun smiled as he touched his own neck, wondering how many did he have.

Baekhyun took time to let all of the details of Chanyeol's body, admiring every muscles oh his abs. Unfortunately only his torso was uncovered so Baekhyun moved his curious sight to his arms, they were in perfect shape. He never took mine to actually look at Chanyeol because he always woke up before him and Baekhyun was too shy to look while Chanyeol was awake.

His shoulders were just perfect, every muscles shaped like someone had carved them, Baekhyun wanted to lean his head on them and stay like that forever and never stop kissing him and his perfect body _'And he all mine, my perfect stranger'_  Baekhyun thought as he smiled sweetly at the thought of finally having someone fully and all yo himself, he finally belong somewhere.

 

Baekhyun decided to take a quick shower and make breakfast for Chanyeol and bring it in bed before he wakes up, he wanted to make his morning perfectly romantic, just like on the movies.

He got up and out of bed, walking to the bathroom and in the shower, he turned on the water, at first it was too hot and then too cold, it took him awhile to make it just perfect, for his gentle skin.

Just as he put some shampoo on his hair, and rubbed it, making alot of foam and washed it away, he heard a husky deep voice.

"I thought that we were going to shower together" It wasn't really a question, he sounded kind of mad and mixed with his morning hoarse voice turned Baekhyun on without him wanting it, he giggled explaining.

"I didn't want to wake you up, plus I wanted to make a surprised breakfast for you, you know like in the movies" He felt Chanyeol stepping under the water, his body pressing against Baekhyun's, making him sigh like his body needed to feel him again, like he subconsciously wanted him.

"That's sweet" Chanyeol said, while he moved his hand to Baekhyun's rubbing it slowly up and down, stopping at his nipple making circles around it, making Baekhyun sigh desperate. He moved down his abs rubbing there and then to his crotch. Baekhyun moaned because he needed him, his lips on Baekhyun's, on his neck, on his body, he was burning to feel Chanyeol again.

"But I had something else in mind, before breakfast" Baekhyun gasped when he felt Chanyeol's hardness, pressured against his buttcheek, behind him.

Baekhyun leaned one hand to the wall, preparing himself for what Chanyeol was going to do and what he was dying to feel.

Lastnight Chanyeol didn't do anything, it was all Baekhyun pleasing him, making love to him the way they both fell in love again with eachother, but now it felt like it was time for him to do the same for Baekhyun, please him to the edge of losing his mind.

Chanyeol spread Baekhyun's legs abit, making it more comfortable for him, wrapping one arm around his waist and the other one kept it's previous place.

Chaneol started pushing in, making Baekhyun gasp in pain, becuase he wasn't prepared, but it was a delightful pain. Baekhyun was worried that he wouldn't be able to take his length in yesteday, but once Chanyeol was fully inside, it didn't seem to be a worry anymore. He sighed, gripping at Baekhyun harder.

"Ah Baek, you're too tight, are you okay?" Chanyeol asked that, because lastnight Baekhyun was asking him that every few seconds, making sure that Chanyeol wasn't hurting even though he used lube, he was too careful. Baekhyun only nodded, swallowing hard, his voice shaking abit, because it was delightful but painful at the same time.

"Just wait a second" They stayed like that for a second for him to adjust, while Chanyeol was kissing his neck, the water that was pouring over them didn't really matter anymore to anyone and what temperature it was, they were both burning and hungry for eachother.

Chanyeol started moving slowly back and forth in sync with his hand that was on Baekhyun's cock, teasing him, while bitting his neck. The movements were getting faster and faster, making Baekhyun yell in pleasure.

"Ah.. Yeah Chanyeol.. Fuck.. Go faster" Baekhyun's words echoked in the bathroom, but Chanyeol was still not used to any of this and cumed, before Baekhyun. Chanyeol leaned on on for a moment for support, until he gathers his thoughts _'He needs practice'_  Baekhyun thought to himself, and wondered how much practice they will have until he learns to hold himself for longer and that it will be more pleasant if he did so, but then again Chanyeol surprised him.

He turned Baekhyun in his arms to face him now, Chanyeol's wicked smirk was there, that same one he had last night before going crazy, horny and dirty on him.

"Don't think that I'm done with you" He said with a warning, kneeling in front of Baekhyun and without another word he took all of him in his mouth.

Baekhyun grasped, grabbing Chanyeol's wet hair, holding him still for a moment because he was too rough, but while Baekhyun was gripping him he didn't expect for Chanyeol to suck and suck hard, making him yell again.

"Ah.. Fuck!" He yelled echoing in the whole apartment this time, letting go of Chanyeol's hair so he could continue his movemnts, Baekhyun's head was back and eyes closed, moaing and yelling without a care.

"Chnayeol!" Probably all of the neighbours already knew what was going on, but neither Baekhyun or Chanyeol cared.

That was the best feeling in the world, pleasure spilled all over Baekhyun's body, as he cummed in Chanyeol mouth, breathlesslly lost in euphoria. When he finally opened his eyes, trying to get his body back to normal because it felt like a mess, Chanyeol was in front of him looking at him. Baekhyun smirked breathing heavily and starting to feel the water of his skin again.

"How do _I_ taste?" He asked playful, Chanyeol laughed, pinning Baekhyun to the wall with his massive body, his hand on both side of Baekhyun, so he can't escape. Not he had any intentions of doing so.

"Wanna try" Chanyeol teased, leaning in for a kiss.

"I didn't expect you to be so dirty, really. For a vanilla guy I mean" Baekhyun kissed him giggling.

"Well I read a few things here and there and learned how to please you" Chanyeol replied cocky, Baekhyun choked on the water.

"You read?" Chanyeol laughed, removing the hair away from Baekhyun's eyes and face.

"Yes, you know the internet is full with everything no matter how weird it is, whatever you need it's there" Chanyeol was back to his sweet self again, caring and loving, Baekhyun an eyebrow.

"So what, you read a tutorial about a first time sex with a gay or something?" Chanyeol laughed loudly, leaning to kiss him sweetly.

"Bot exactly, but it was similar to that, plus Sehun helped out too" Baekhyun almost yelled

"Sehun? I thought he was straight" Chanyeol laughed, explaining.

"Well you know he and Jongdae kind of kicked it off after they met" Baekhyun's mouth was hanging open in surprise, making Chanyeol laugh.

"He didn't tell you, did he?" Baekhyun frowned as he wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's neck.

"I will have a talk with my so called best friend and ask him why am I learning about this from 3rd person, instead of himself" Baekhyun was fake pouting because nothing could really ruin his mood today, Chanyeol kissed the pout away and continued their showering.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Baekhyun got out first, leaving Chanyeol to take his time and wash after they spent a fair share of time under the shower playing around and making out.

He got dressed in one of Cha yeol's large shirt, it was like dress to Baekhyun, the end of it was in the middle of his thighs, but it was comfortable and the smell of Chanyeol was a plus, making him jump around happily because everything was finally the way it was supposed to be.

Baekhyun went to the kitchen, taking out a few eggs and some milk, he was going to make some pancakes with vanilla cream for which he had an idea of using in a different way, other than put it on the pancakes, that's when the door bell rang.

Baekhyun walked to the door, if someone saw him they would say that he was dancing on his way and then he opened it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chanyeol was just getting out of the shower, with a towel around his waist and one in his hand, rubbing and drying his hair when he heard the boor bell, he walked to the living room.

"Babe who is it?" He asked Baekhyun, but the he saw him standing there at the open door, not moving, he looked like a scared cat, his body stiff and stressed. Then he looked at the people who were in front.

There stood his mother and father and next to them a girl that he didn't know. She was short, black hair, nothing unusual.

"Mom, Dad?.." Chanyeol asked confused, because it had been 7 years since his father had kicked him out and said that he never wants to see him again and his mother not going anything about it. In the end he actually managed to get his life together without his father's dirty money, so he didn't really need them in his life now, that's when Baekhyun gasped.

"Taeyeon..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I want to thank my friend Kristina again for helping out with the names of the last two chaps, thank you for being such an amazing friend!
> 
> Second of all, this smut might be bad for some of you and I'm sorry if it's disappointing. Bless The Weeknd for helping out with it. 
> 
> And third, I can't believe I've got so far with this story, it's almost the end T_T {Cries}


	7. Don't Go Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chaper {sobs} I hope you guys enjoy it as much as all the other chapters!  
> The name and the whole chapter is inspired by the very talented Park Chanyeol, who made a cover of the song Don't Go Today

Chanyeol rushed walking to the door and grabbed Baekhyun's hand, pulling him behind himself to protect him from any harm that might come and take it all on himself. He looked at his parents confused and furious at the girl who seemed to be Taeyeon, the very same one who ruined Baekhyun's life.

"What is going on here?" Chanyeol asked at the same time with Taeyeon's question.

"What is he doing here?" Referring to Baekhyun. Chanyeol's father scoffed, looking at him with despite because he had just found out that Chanyeol _his son_  had spent the night with another man.

"We came here to put an end to this stupid hate between us and start anew, along with your sister" His mother said, after she saw that his father wasn't going to say anything, because he hated him even more now.

"My what.." Chanyeol asked confused, looking at the girl and back at them, Baekhyun gasped surprised.

"Sister?" Pulling away from Chanyeol's grip with more strength then necessary and running into the room to change his clothes. Chanyeol rushed after him, leaving his parents and so called sister at the door, because he knew what Baekhyun was thinking.

"Baek wait.." he entered the room right after him.

"I swear I have no idea what is going on here Baek" He was dressing himself, not looking at Chanyeol even for a second.

"I knew that something like this would happen, that the dream was trying to warn me about something" Baekhyun was talking to himself, still not sparing a glance at Chanyeol, gathering his things.

"Baek, where are you going" Chanyeol grabbed his wrist, trying to stop him. That's when Baekhyun looked at him with the most cold eyes Chanyeol had everseen, they looked almost merderious, filled with hate and deep deep inside there was that excruciating pain that Baekhyun was so afaraid to feel again.

"Let me go" Baekhyun said through his teeth, pulling away, Chanyeol grabbed him again.

"Please wait, let's figure out what is going on here, _together_ " Baekhyun pulled himself out of Chanyeol's grasp harsher than he had to hurting his arm, Chanyeol's nails leaving their mark without him wanting that.

"Figure out what exactly? That this was all a sick game for both of you, making plans how to ruin me. You're sick you know that, totally insane, finding joy in people's pain and suffering, I hate you, all of you. You, your fucking sick sister and your bastards of parants for giving birth to crazy people like you and her" Baekhyun shoved Chanyeol out of his way, without caring how big he was.

Chanyeol didn't give up, no matter how harsh and painful Baekhyun's words were, he knew that he was hurting too much and from what he understood it was all right to say those things. Chanyeol had to explain that he had never seen her, let alone know that she is his sister, she was probably playing a game to get to Baekhyun if she knew that he was close to this family or just trying to get to Chanyeol's father's money and it was a total accident that Baekhyun ended up in the middle of this.

"Baek please, this is not what you think, I have no idea who she is!" He yelled after him now un the living room, his parents standing there with his sister, watching the show.

"I've never seen her before!" He turned to his parents.

"Explain now!" Yelling at them, but Baekhyun didn't care anymore to waste time with staying and get involved further in this sick game.

"Baekhyun wait!" Chanyeol rushed after him out of his apartment and in the corridor, but before he could get to him, Baekhyun slammed his door in Chanyeol face.

"Fuck.." Chanyeol sighed, going back in his apartment to take the keys and get in to talk with Baekhyun.

All of them were still standing there, when he walked in. Chanyeol didn't care about them at all, everything taht mattered right now was Baekhyun and only Baekhyun. He put some clothes on because he was still with a towel, when his father decided to talk.

"I knew that you were a disappointment from the moment yous aid that you wanted to do something else out of my company, but I didn't know you could go this low and sleep around with men" He scoffed, Chanyeol just shook his head, trying to ignore it and not hit his father and taking his key. He was way to mad to care, Chanyeol grabbed Taeyeon by the hair and pulled her with him.

"You're coming with me" she was screaming in pain, but he didn't care at all, because she deserved pain. His mother and father shocked by his actions hurried to follow him in Baekhyun's apartment, trying to stop him. Chanyeol entered and pushed Taeyeon on the floor, yelling at her.

"Apologize to him!" She was crying now and Chanyeol was out of control.

Baekhyun walked out from his room, looking at Cha yeol coldy and even more upset now.

"I said apologize!" He yelled again, raising a hand to hit her, she just screamed crying.

"Don't you dare raise a hand to your sister!" his father yelled, but not stepping in probably because he was afraid of what Chanyeol was capable of in this state, but continued talking.

"She's 10 times better than you ever were, you piece of shit, I regret that I didn't knew about her before creating you useless homosexual garbage" Chanyeol turned around and grabbed his father's collar.

"Is that so, then why are you here after leaving me to struggle for 7 years all alone and now coming with that bitch who ruined his life" Chanyeol pointed at Baekhyun, his father scoffed pushing his hands away.

"So you're putting your whore above your own family" Chaneol looked at his mother who was trying to say something, but was too scared to interfere.

"Yes I do and he is not a whore, he is the best thing that has happened to me since you kicked me out, you're noone to me, you were never my family" He said turning to Baekhyun who was just standing there and watching what was happening, rather emotionless, it seemed like he had given up.

"Fine then, let's go" His father said, turning around to walk away, while Taayeon stood up on her feet, shaking and still sobbing.

"Oh no, she's not going anywhere" Chanyeol grabbed her by the hair again pulling her close to him, turning both of them to face Baekhyun.

"Not until she apologizes for what she has done" Chanyeol said through his teeth, gripping her harder so she couldn't run away.

"Chanyeol stop, she your sister!" His mother yelled from behind.

"She's nothing, she deserves way more than this" He answered, now whispering in her ear.

"If you don't apologize, I will kill you in the most painfull way, that you will wish that you were never born" His voice sounded like venom, then she cried out.

"I'm sorry!" Sobbing, but Chaneol wasn't satisfied so he pulled her hair, making her scream.

"I'm sorry that I tried to kill you, I'm sorry!" Still crying, Chanyeol let her fall on the floor looking at Baekhyun, hoping that it was enough to make him listen now. Chanyeol knew that an apology wouldn't make any difference, but atleast it could show him that Chanyeol didn't care and that she wasn't his sister and actually let him explain.

"I can't believe that you have turned into such a mosnter, I raised you better not to hurt people, let alone your half sister. You've truly gone over the edge this time Chanyeol" His mother said, picking up Taeyeon from the floor.

"You didn't raise me at all, the babysitters did and that Chanyeol is dead now, gone forever. I'm a new man, but how can you possibly know that since you didn't care to look for me atleast once in those 7 years" He turning to face them.

"I don't want to ever see any of you again, for me you're both dead. You're nothing, I don't need you in my life, I have handled everything on my own just fine" His father scoffed at his coldness and boldness, not being surprised actually.

"I hope you'll be happy with your little whore" He said while walking out the door and Chanyeol replied just before the door closed.

"I hope you choke on your money"

 

There was deafening silence for a few seconds, Chanyeol was afraid to turn around and look at Baekhyun face, that cold and emotionless expreassion, but he had to.

"Am I supposed to believe this whole scene here?" Baekhyun said, joking with painfully cold sarcasm.

"You have to do better than that Channye" He faked a smile and winked at him, walking back to his room, Chanyeol followed him.

"Baekhyun please listen to me, I swear.. I fucking swear, that I had never seen this girl not until today. I don't know what game she's playing..." Baekhyun's laugher cut Chanyeol, it was cold and emotionless, stinging Chanyeol's heart like a burning dagger.

"You've the one playing games here, you know I really fell intobyour trap, the whole drama with your family and being a goodhearted person, you really pulled a good one, maybe you should try acting" He said while packing his thing.

"Baekhyun, please you have to believe me..." He tried again, Chanyeol really had no idea what else to do than beg him. Baekhyun sighed leaning on his packed clothes.

"I can't and I won't believe you, how stupid was I to believe that you were going to leave a whole company behind just because you didn't want to get your hads dirty. You won an Oscar Chanyeol, really great job, drink one with your sis, when you get home for job well done" He closed his bags and walked pass Chanyeol, who grabbed his forearm, stopping him.

"I love you Baekhyun, please don't leave me" He scoffed pulling away from his grip.

"Go fuck yourself Chanyeol, or maybe fuck your sister. I'm sure you'll both like it coz you're into twisted things" He shoved Chanyeol out of his way and walked passed him, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Chanyeol asked desperately, his eyes filling with tears, because there was nothing he could do, Baekhyun was way too hurt to listen. No matter what Chanyeol told him, he wouldn't believe because the pain of betrayal once again filled his heart.

"Ad far away from you, as possible" Baekhyun waved a hand in the air, not turning back and walking out of the apartment.

Chanyeol was left there alone with nothing and noone, there was not even hope, because he had no idea what could he possibly do to fix this misunderstanding.

"Fuck" He said falling down on the floor crying, leaning his head into his palms, sobbing now.

"Fuck, what do I do..."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Three days had passed in which Chanyeol didn't stop nagging at Sehun to tell him where Baekhyun was.

Yes, he had been crying every night until he was too tired and fell asleep, hugging Baekhyun's pillow, which had his scent and slowly disappeared with every breath he took. He didn't eat nor actually sleep, only few minutes until he woke up from the nightmares he was having. Losing Baekhyun over and over again and when he woke up he cried again and repeated the same thing until the sun came out and he could go to Sehun and ask him for information about Baekhyun all day long.

 

"I told you for the 11th thousand time today Chanyeol. I don't know where Baekhyun is! Stop asking, you fucked up. Now don't expect me to fix your life for you, you just didn't had to let him leave" Sehun said that without really meaning it, but he was tired of Chanyeol already, being with him every second of the day and asking him about Baekhyun.

"Yeah hold him hostage in the apartment, what a great idea" Chanyeol said rolling his eyes and hitting his head on the counter at the cafè, sighing desperately.

"Look Sehun, I know that you and Jongdae hooked up and tou have his number and I bet that he atleast told you something about all of this" Chanyeol tried with another strategy now, hoping it would work, Sehun scoffed.

"Yeah like million swear words towards you, that's what he said. Promising to break your every bone when he sees you" Chanyeol's eyes lit up with hope.

"I was right! please give me his phone number" Sehun shook his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea" Chanyeol started looking for Suhun's phone, reaching in his pockets.

"Come on Sehun, I don't ask for much just the number and I promise that I won't talk to you about this anymore, just please, you're my best friend, do this for me" Sehun jumped away from him.

"Okay okay, just keep your hands off me, that was my crotch you just touched, you pervert" He hoped that it would make Chanyeol smile atleast a bit and it did, Sehun's jokes always made him smile. Giving him the phone number Chanyeol ran out of the cafè like he was a child who just got money to buy some candy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

After million cursing and swearing yelled to Chanyeol from the other side of the line and threats, how he was going to butcher him, because Jongdae was a surgeon too, just like Baekhyun was.

Jongdae finally said an address, where Baekhyun was and Chanyeol didn't wait, leaving right away. It was on the other side of Seoul, he probably was in Jongdae's apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chanyeol knocked nervously at the door and when it opened, Jongdae greeted him with his right hook in Chanyeol face.

"You fucking basterd, what did I tell you about hurting him!" Chanyeol rubbed his cheek.

"Where's Baekhyun?" He asked looking inside not caring that Jongdae could beat him up, but he was just glaring at him and eventually let Chanyeol in.

"He's not here, I called you to come because I wanted to beat you up and yell how stupid you are. how could you even let him go like that!" He was yelling at Chanyeol trowing his hands in the air, walking towards the kitchen and leaning there at the counter.

"What was I supposed to do, I couldn't make him stay! Every word I was saying he took it as a lie..."

"Of course you could make him, you dumb fuck!" Jongdae yelled back, hitting with a fist at the counter sighing.

"Tell me everything that happened, just the way it happened, because Baekhyun loves to over exaggerate things" Jongdae sounded more calm now.

"I don't have time for this, where's Baekhyun?" Jongdae yelled at him again.

"I'm trying to help you both fuckheds here! From what I gathered it wasn't your fault, but having in mind what Baekhyun has been through I understand him and I'm on his side because I'm his best friend, but I think that both of you did wrong here and that you were just put in the wrong place at the wrong time" Chanyeol sighed loudly.

"I don't know what to do, they just came out of nowhere after 7 years, with a girl which I didn't know it was Taeyeon until Baekhyun mentioned her name. They introduced her as my half sister and Baekhyun thought that me and her had this master plan to play with him and hurt him more and just..." Chanyeol sighed desperately lost in his thoughts, burying his face in his hands.

"I don't know if I can fix this.... Whatever I say he just..." He sighed again, fighting the tears. Jongdae went to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Chanyeol looked at him and Jongdae stared into his eyes, looking for the truth.

"So, you've never seen her before?" Chanyeol whined in a reply.

"I swear Jongdae, that was my first time, I had no idea that my father was such a basterd and went chating on my mother like thag" Jongdae patted him on his shoulder.

"Okay okay, calm down. I believe you and you _Can_ fix this, because Baekhyun still loves you, no matter how it seems. He has fallen way too deep and from the looks of it you're not far from his state as well" Chanyeol shook his head, eyes teary.

"He is all I have, I l love him..." Chanyeol admitted broken.

"Good, that's all you need. Go to him, explain everything properly, even if he doesn't want to hear you. No matter what he says, trust me he is into you, no matter how cruel or cold he sounds, it's just a facade. Don't believe it even for a second, be patient and confident. Talk and talk, until he gives in and.." Jongdae moved his hand over chanyeol's chest.

"Don't forget to put all of your heart in it, pour your soul out and show him the real you, because he is a bit frightened from what you did to Taeyeon" Chanyeol remembered the scene when he was out of control and pushing her on the floor hurting her, mindlessly yelling at her. He only nodded to show Jongdae that he understood.

"Good boy" Jongdae patted him again and gave him the address.

"Now go and fix this, make me proud" Chanyeol stood up, not smile at Jongdae's joke, but he was confident now.

"I will fix it" Jongdae chuckled proudly at what he had done.

"You better or else you know what I'll do" He raised a fist in the air, giggling at him.

"Good luck Chanyeol" Jongdae said, as he walked out the apartment.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Chanyeol was in front of the apartment's door, he was way too nervous to knock, he wasn't ready to meet Baekhyun's cold stare or hurtful words again, he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to explain everything the way he wanted to. He was afraid that he was going to make things even worse.

Chanyeol sighed desperately, taking a breath knocking twice on the door. Preparing himself to give everything he had to his boyfriend, because he needed him in his life, more than anyone else.

As soon as Baekhyun opened the door and saw Chanyeol, his eyes widened and rushed to close it, but Chanyeol pushed his hand in between and hold it open, risking to be broken if Baekhyun pushed it closed.

"I just want to talk, please let me in. Listen to me if you want or not, I just want to say it out loud" Baekhyun gave up on pushing the door shut, because there was no way he could physically manage to do that, so he let him in, throwing his arms in the air.

"Come in, welcome. Make yourself at home and ruin this too, my fucky little apartment that is already stained with so much bullshit" Baekhyun said sorrowful, Chanyeol sighed feeling the pain ripping his heart apart, because it was painful to see Baekhyun like that. He would give anything to take that pain on to himself and make Baekhyun care free again and happy with that shy little smile.

"Listen..." Chanyeol started, but Baekhyun cut him.

"You said that I didn't had to listen to what you have to say" Chanyeol sighed frustrated, tapping with one foot nervously.

"But you really have to hear this, all of it, so please let me say it and after that curse me or yell at me, do whatever you want just let me say it" Baekhun was looking at him, arms crossed over his chest.

"It's not like I have a choice, go on then" Baekhyun waved a hand at him. Chanyeol rubbed his face with one hand still sighing, not sure from where to start.

"Okay first of all, Taeyeon.. She really is my sister.." Baekhyun glared at him, making Chanyeol's words get stuck in his throat, but didn't give up. Looking down at his feet now, while talking trying to pick the best words possible.

"I learned that a day after you left, my mother sent me a letter explaining everything, still hoping that we could be a family all together... The thing is that, 3 years before my father met my mother, he had a relationship with another girl, which got pregnant but never told him. Then he met my mother and decided to have me, I guess if he knew about her they would've never..." Chanyeol swallowed thickly, because it hurted him, to remember his father's words, if he knew about Taeyeon's existance he would've never wanted another child. Chanyeol cleared his throat, taking control over his emotions.

"So, now her mother had died and she began looking for her father and found him, few months ago. It was my mother's idea to come and look for me, to get closer now because my father was happy that he had her. She was everything that he always wanted from me.. And my mother thought that it would be good if I went home, even though my father would not care for me, that's why they came that day, she made him because she missed me.." Chanyeol looked at his hands, not wanting to lift his eyes to meet Baekhyun's, he just couldn't.

"I've have never met her before, never seen her, let alone plot behind your back and hurt you.. I would never.. It i could take away all of your pain from now and back then on to myself and make you forget about everything and smile again, brightening my day I would, i would do anything for you Baekhyun..." Chanyeol sighed, holding back his tears.

"How can I be sure that all of this isn't fake and you're not trying to trick me again to torture me even further and enjoy my pain along with her. How can I believe your words Chanyeol" Baekhyun asked, making Chanyeol look at him now finally, he was still mad at him but that coldness from the other day wasn't there anymore, which Chanyeol took for a good sign.

Chanyeol could feel the tears that were going to fall out of his eyes, because if Baekhyun didn't want to believe he couldn't possibly make him, against his will.

"You can't..." his voice broke, taking a deep breathe, slowly walking towards Baekhyun and stopped just a feet away, reaching out his hand and hoping that Baekhyun would let him touch him.

"But here" He gently pressed his hand on Baekhyun's chest, grateful that he still let him do that, he knew that if it was someone else he would never let him touch there, over his scar.

"Deep inside, you know what is the truth" Chanyeol looked at him, Baekhyun's eyes were sad now, tears coming down his face.

"How can I know that it's not just me being naive" That's when Chanyeol knew that he could fix this, break through Baekhyun's facade and make him feel the love he had for him.

"You can't.." Chanyeol whispered getting closer, wrapping his arms around the smaller's body, Baekhyun was sobbing now, his arms still crossed in front, not hugging back. Chanyeol leaned his head on Baekhyun's shoulder and took a deep breath, making himself calm down just by Baekhyun's scent.

"You are everything I have, I never really knew what was love and what meant to be in love, but I learned that because of you. I learned that loving somene isn't always fun and games, it has hard times in which you have to choose yourself or your partner. Always thinking of both, that you're not an individual anymore. I really didn't expect to fall in love, because I never really believed it, but it happened, you just made feel like a school girl everytime I saw you. Excited and happy when you were around me and when you were gone, everything was just grey and cold, it was unreal but with you I could see colors and I can't imagine my life continuing without those colors in it, I need you in my life Baekhyun"

Baekhyun just kept sobbing.

"Whatever you decide it will be okay, if you want me gone, I will leave and not bother you anymore, but you have to know, how much I love you" He stepped back and cupped Baekhyun's teary face, kissing him softly, wiping his tears away, while he started singing.

 

"Now I'm fine, even if you keep an eye on me

Now I'm fine, even if yoo look at pictures with me

Don't go today, only don't go today

If you stay next to metoday, I can forget

Don't go today, please don't leave me

Today I will try my best, if you stay next to me

Now it's fine, enough to say goodbye

now it's fine, sometimes I think about it

Don't go today, only don't go today

If you stay next to me today, I can forget

Don't go today, please don't leave me

Today I will try my best, if you stay next to me

I knew it would not matter, even if you do not have that

but why do I keep getting tears?

Don't go today, only don't go today

If you stay next to metoday, I can forget

Don't go today, please don't leave me

Today I will try my best, if you stay next to me

Don't go today...

Now I'm fine..."

 

Chanyeol tried to hide his own tear, but couldn't hold it inside anymore, a sob escaped his mouth.

"It's beautiful" Baekhyun said, finally wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's waist, leaning his head on his chest.

"But so sad..." Chanyeol kept crying, wrapping his arms tightly around Baekhyun, he didn't want to let him go, never again.

"I wrote it for you" He manage to say through his sobs, Baekhyun only hummed, rubbing his back trying to calm him down.

"You really had no idea about her, did you?" Baekhyun asked, as he listened to Chanyeol's heartbeat and his sobbing. Chanyeol only managed to shake his head for an answer, Baekhyun sighed pulling away from his embrace, but Chanyeol didn't let go.

"It's okay, I won't go anywhere" Baekhyun reassured him, Chanyeol trusted him and let go. Baekhyun looked him, wiping his tears away with a soft gentle hand.

"I'm sorry" He said, Chanyeol shook his head, blinking with tears in his eyes.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything, I'm the ones who's sorry. I shouldn't have let you go that day" Baekhyun smiled, softly placing a finger on Chanyeol's lips.

"Shh, now it's my turn to talk... I am sorry for all those things I said to you, I didn't mean any of them. I'm more than greatful that you were born and that you came in my life, meeting you. You took all of my broken pieces of my fucked up heart and held them in your warm gentle hands, protecting them.. I am sorry for jumping to conclusions without even thinking.. I hould've trusted you and at least listened to what you had to say, but.." Baekhyun sighed.

"You know what kind of fuck up i am, and I screwed it all up, even any chance for you to get back with your family. I fucked that up too.. I literally entered your life and fucked it up, just like I do with everything around me" Chanyeol cupped his face, his eyes filled with love.

"That's not true, none of it. You didn't fuck my life up, you made it better and I will fix all of your broken pices and make you whole again" Baekhyun shook his head with tears in his eyes.

"I don't need you to fix me...I just need you to love me while I fix myself" Chanyeol gently smiled at him.

"I swear that all of this was like those, at a wrong place at the wrong time and I promise that you will not regret this" Chanyeol said, as if he felt Baekhyun's doubt, that this was still a lie.

"I promise that I will glew together all of your broken pices and make happy again, make you see what true love is and all the colorful things in life. I will make all of your scars dissapear and be forgotten, I promise you that I will never stop loving you until the very end" Baekhyun hugged him tighly sighing in reliefe.

"I will not let you down again" Chanyeol whispered against his hair, placing a kiss there, stepping back to look at Baekhyun.

"I love you, my Cookie Monster" He whispered gently caressing Baekhyun's face, his eyes were still glumy and hesitant, but decided that he was going to jump into the fire for a second time. He knew that it was going to burn him the first time when he jumped and now he knew that it could happen again, but he was going to choose to burn in that fire over and over again if it meant to be with Chanyeol. Maybe it was true love, like the ones on the movies, because Baekhyun knew that no matter how hurt he was by this, he has decided that he was going to get back to Chanyeol eventually, he just couldn't live without him and his sparkling light that made Baekhyun's dark life become alive again.

"I love you too, my Perfect Stranger" Baekhyun replied, pulling Chanyeol in for a passionate kiss.

A kiss that they both were dying for.

They were dying to feel each other again, because their love might not be perfect, but it was true and real, a love that was never going to end, no matter what. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My God I FINISHED IT!!!  
> This one ended up a little too short but that's it :D  
> This is my longest story so far, please give it lots of love. Thank you so so much for supporting it and for reading it until the end  
> I love you all amazing people who left kudos and comments!  
> I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I did while writing it  
> Best of wishes \^o^/ <3
> 
> And a very special thank you's to all the people a.k.a artists who inspired me to keep on writing this story with their amaing music  
> EXO, BTS, Shinee {Taemin Bless You and Your Talent}, NCT, The Weeknd and many more.

**Author's Note:**

> If I ever manage to finish this, Yay!  
> And if you read it until the end, bless you :D  
> It will be a few chapters, because I'm weak for them  
> Thank you for reading \^o^/ I love you all  
> Please leave kudos and comments, they make feel alive and worth it


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